Monday, September 26, 2011

I'm single and sexual. How is this supposed to work?

 I'm human, I have one life, and this life has many different facets.  There are emotions, there is an occupation, there is my physical body and what it feels, there are interests, relationships, a sense of identity, loves, likes, dislikes, etc...

I want to live my life well.  I want each of my facets to be beautiful.  But, just as I've messed up in one area, I've messed up in all areas of my life.  In particular, the sexual part of me didn't get as much good instruction  as the rest of me.  But, praise God!  I am not identified by my facets nor by my mistakes!

I found this truth-speaking blog post just this week, and it's been breaking chains in my soul each day since.  Seriously.  Please check out Why There's No Such Thing as Sexual Identity by Matt from the Church of No People.

While Matt's words pave the way for some beautiful healing from God, I'm still left with the question of
"Okay, but what now?"

Well, behold the perfect timing of God even in this small world of mine. 
From the Good Women Project's September series on singleness:

Check out the comments, ladies and gents.  Do it.  And what do you think?  It's a bold topic, but I'm 99% sure you already have an opinion.


September 28th edit:
Here's another article from The Good Women Project that perfectly coincides with what I'm trying to say.
The Church Needs A Different View Of Sex & Singleness


  1. hm, Matt brings up an interesting point when he talks about the evangelical line on sex. I grew up in a church that was extremely preoccupied with it (Joshua Harris, who wrote I Kissed Dating Goodbye, came to speak, and there were like 20 of his books on the book table, and we went through them in youth group). Looking back though, even though I didn't do it, I think I was definitely way more obsessed with sex and spent a lot more time thinking about it.

    Then there's the question I've been pondering lately. The message I got as a teenager was definitely that if you had sex, you would regret it later, but now, as a still celibate young adult, I sometimes think I almost look back with regret at not having it.

    So anyways, I tend to be bitter about random things, and who knows, maybe the day will come when I don't regret how I chose (or was told) to live. But that's just where I've been lately.

  2. I got the same message about regretting sex if you had it before marriage. The whole thing has been wrapped up in the not-always-good kind of mystery. I'm not glad about how I was taught about sexuality, and I know that I have a lot to work through because of my upbringing. For starters, I'm starting to accept that sex is not a dirty thing. Sexual desire is not wrong, either.

    Because I've decided to wait till the context of marriage to have sex and because I'm not married nor engaged, I can only hope I'll be able to have sex one day. Hopefully I'll figure things out in the time between now and then.

    By the way, check out this article I found just a couple days ago. I love the bold truth here.


Thank you for sharing your thoughts! If there is something you want me to respond to specifically, feel free to send me an email; I'd love to chat.