Wedding Plans: A Compromise to Remember

When we were getting old enough to start thinking about our own weddings, far away from each other, Caleb and I had very different ideas about what we wanted.  You've heard a bit about my woodland wedding ideas before.  I would love to get married outside in the forest with ferns and vines and green everywhere.  Girls in breezy dresses and boys in slacks with their shirt sleeves rolled up.  Caleb doesn't share the same affinity for my ideas.

Caleb is from Charleston and had the pleasure of growing up around churches like St. Michael's, First Baptist Church of Charleston, and the Greek Orthodox Church of the Holy Trinity (links to pictures). His wedding visions included a beautiful chapel with pews and a long aisle.  Nice suits or tuxes, formal flowers, a string quartet for the ceremony, and a big band for the reception.

Night and day.

Recommended (+ struggles with feminism)

I'll put the song first so you can listen to it while you're looking over the rest.
"Young" by Daughter is a new and beautiful discovery from last week.




From Pinterest

I have recently accepted that the fox is now my favorite animal, and I started a new board for it two weeks ago.
Kumi Ito is a pinner with  great collections of things from Japan.
Check out Nobuo Tsuchiya's has Awesome country boards.

One more article, another one from my Friday evening:
"How my mother's fanatical feminist views tore us apart" by Rebecca Walker, daughter of famed feminist author Alice Walker

Because I stand for equality for the sexes, I am a feminist.  I do not agree that women should be over men, but they should be treated fairly and with dignity, as every human should be.  Over the last few years of reading articles and such about feminism and human rights issues and women being oppressed, I've seen a lot of people doing feminism right, and a few people who do it wrong.  Heck, I've been able to see how I was doing some things wrong.  I've also been able to identify a lot of ways that my views of women have been damaged, and I've been working hard to fix those things.

In this state of growth and having gone through many different perspectives by this point, I was very impressed to read Rebecca's personal account of one way feminism can be done wrong.  Rebecca called her mom out on a lot of things that had been resting in the back of my mind, too.  I'm thankful that her words have spoken into my mind and my heart, and I hope that their seeds will sprout strong and healthy.

What do you think about her article?  One of the parts that stuck out to me so strongly was her defense of motherhood.  I think I want to have kids one day, but I don't right now, and I've been having a hard time keeping motherhood and pregnancy in the right perspective.  The internal debate has been breaking my heart, actually, because I feel like I could be perceived as less of a woman if I don't want/have kids, but then I could be perceived as less of a Woman! if I break under the pressures of society.  It's a mess right now.  And it's all been brought to the surface because of the soon-to-be-made decision on birth control I have now that I'll be getting married.

Oy.  I should stop now before this gets worse.

Korean Beauty Products, Part 2

I started writing a few weeks ago about all of the Korean beauty products I used while over thee, but I quickly realized that everything from The Face Shop was going to be enough for one post in itself.  Here's the rest of my discoveries, all of which I recommend, by the way.

Character Development: My Perfectionist Tendencies Are On the Block

 Caleb and I are going through premarital counseling.  (As if we didn't already have plenty of deep and soul searching conversations.)  I think the books we're reading and the required questions we're answering has been forcing us to deal with and reconcile our differences instead of revealing them.

One of the things that has been coming up rather frequently is how very Type A I am which contrasts drastically with how laid back and steady Caleb is.  I've had to recognize that both of these traits aren't inherently bad, but I've also had to accept that I can let my controlling tendencies control me.  Not cool.

This morning I read an article from Darling Magazine that talked about letting go of perfectionism.

Click the picture to read the article.

On one hand, cleanliness helps me feel calm.  Clutter and dirtiness add stress to my life.  Being on time is important to me because I consider it a way to respect people's time, but being relaxed and taking things as they come sounds so free spirited.  And, gosh, I wish I could unwind a bit if only so Caleb and I wouldn't have as many near-conflicts.

Does anyone have any other tips of releasing the need for everything to be perfect?  How to become more comfortable with allowing life to "let it be?"  Ha!  I'm realizing that I might not have been such a good hippie, after all.

Wedding Plans: At This Point

I'm getting married this September.
I'm really excited!!

(Gotta brag on my darling right here.  The engagement ring he gave me could
Not be more perfect!  I love it!)
 
With all of this event planning, logistics, vision setting, and interaction with vendors,
This event planning has been a fun production so far.  Of all the things I've been doing (vision casting, interacting with vendors, delegating, etc.) the logistics has been my favorite part.  So far, I've enjoyed everything administrative.  I like making lists, scratching off completed tasks, researching venues, and managing the budget.

I do not like asking for lower prices, stressing when plans fall through, and the pressure of making this wedding perfect.  One thing that I thought I wouldn't like was working within our comparatively small budget.  Once I got into planning, though, I found the budget as a challenge to grasp instead of restrictions.  Once my mindset changed, it became more of a game than a chore to find out how we can get catering cheaper, which venue would be the best deal, and do we really have to spend so much money on flowers?

By the way, it's just about the same amount of money to buy tablecloths as it is to rent them, and there are loads of websites that will send you flowers that you can put together yourself which saves a bundle.

Other things
I have learned to spell Boutonniere!

I have found out there are a lot more Buy Used Wedding Things websites than I thought.

I've scoured the internet for great deals on pillar and votive candles and still don't know where I'm going to get them.
I have claimed a very large tree my dad recently felled for decoration fodder.
I have explored our woods for honeysuckle vines for table runners and have learned that it might be difficult to separate them from the muscadine vines that are almost always also present.
I don't want to put in the time to build our photo book/guest book...

I've shown you all some pictures of our pillow fort engagement shoot, but we also had another shoot with Garrett Reid Photography.  I love them so much, and I want to show them to you!  Here's a link to his blog post with his selections.

Korean Beauty Product Reviews: The Face Shop

One of my favorite things about Korea was how eager and capable it was in helping me learn how to take care of my skin.  My face has clung to the acne of my youth for a long time, and only last year in Korea did I finally become confident in having it under control.  This is thanks to the many products available at excellent prices (which won't happen now that they have to be imported to me in America) and thanks to how freakin' Many cosmetic shops there were!

The Face Shop, Inisfree, Etude house, Tony Moly, Missha, Skin food, Mizon, Holika Holika, Nature Republic, Too Cool For School, Aritaum, It's Skin... There are a lot, and they are everywhere.  Well, there weren't any in my small neighborhood, but around my church, my friend's house, my dance classes, basically every where else but my neighborhood, you could find more than a couple on every street, it seemed.

A little sister who used to work there took me to The Face Shop to show me around, advise me, and to make sure the cashier gave me lots of samples because I was a foreigner.  After that visit, this was and still is my main cosmetics store.  Here are the products I used.  I really liked them, save the zit zapper.  I liked them so much, I searched for a Stateside store.  I found one, too!  There's one an hour and a half from me in Duluth, Atlanta, in the Mega Mart of the Gwinnett Place Mall!