Internet famous

When anyone talks about the spotlight, it's usually to say "I don't like it" or "I prefer to stay out of the center of attention."  Just like how you never hear anyone saying "I love getting presents!" you never hear anyone saying "I love being in the spotlight."  Except for celebrities, I guess.  And except for me.

Since I was a little kid, I've loved having people's attention.  I performed puppet shows for my parents growing up and I loved watching the home videos of the puppet shows when I was older.  I managed and acted in our high school senior talent show.  I performed in a few Directing Class scenes in college, and I was really disappointed when I was passed over for our college plays and musicals.

When creative social media platforms came on the scene and I noticed how much influence (and money) bloggers were getting, I yearned for that reality to be a part of my life, too.  I read tons of posts about how to hike my follower count.  I churned out posts three times a week with the main goal of creating shareable content.  I analyzed and agonized over what I could be doing differently, how I could better present myself, and how little luck I was finding.

Then, my BFF Millie would share with me how frustrated she was with the curated (fake) feeds on Instagram and I noticed most of the blogs I followed repeating themselves and each other.  I got to the point where every new picture of a coffee cup* in a beautiful setting made me roll my eyes, and if that's what I had to participate in to be internet famous, I wasn't sure I wanted it anymore.  I started to rethink what kind of contribution I was making to our internet society, and then I came across this piece "When Instagram Influencing isn't so Glamorous," which firmed up my gathering suspicions.

I think it's important for me to verbalize this.  Gaining and maintaining a constant, eager following takes resolve, work, and creativity I'm not willing to devote to this goal anymore.  As I've grown older, I've gravitated more toward one-on-one conversations and repetitive visits to my same favorite coffee shops, and I've turned further away from content for content's sake.  What I was creating wasn't benefiting others and it wasn't benefiting myself.  It's time to regroup and to shift my vision.

The life I have around me, however curated it is or isn't, is more valuable to me than the possibility of being internet famous.  And in fact, upon further introspection, I've been able to put more of a framework around what it is I really do want: to be an expert in my field, a mentor, someone people go to for guidance or nurturing.  Ultimately, what I want is to be respected and admired, and I don't have to be famous to cultivate those things.

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*Check out Delete to Feed to join me in donating meals to Americans in poverty just by deleting food photos on Instragram.

Minimalism in practice: social media

I wish I could pay someone money to opt out of ads in real life.  So far, no one's made an ad blocker for that, but Black Mirror makes me think it won't be long.  In the meantime, I fight the man by blocking every Twitter and Instagram account that advertises on my feed.  Yes, it takes time and yes, it's actually made a difference as far as Twitter's concerned.  I'm sure it's not likely, but I really hope someone at Instagram HQ starts to notice and blacklists me from ever receiving ads again.  I go to these apps for what I've subscribed for, and I don't want anything else invading that space trying to sell me something I don't want.

2017 was the Year of the Podcast for me, and one of the podcasts I consumed religiously was The Minimalist Podcast.  I've always loathed clutter, and it was so affirming and validating to find a group of people who agreed with me and my frustrations!  I think it was their episode about technology (or maybe this one about creating) that started to change my perspective on social media clutter.

It showed me I was contributing to it.

I was making the internet more cluttered.  I was filling it with content I thought people would like with the goal of wanting them to like (and follow) me.   I wasn't offering anything of real substance, I was playing the game to win, not to give, and what I posted reflected that.

As much as I'd love to have the perks that come with being internet famous, I've uncovered that it's more important to me to stick to my values about value.  I know I won't always get it right, and I know there are plenty of ways to define this, but moving forward, I want my contribution to matter.  If I don't believe my content will give value to others, I won't publish it.

Going one level deeper, I do want to reflect on how this newer perspective can lead to being overly critical and even afraid to speak, share, and create.  In fact, I already have internal struggles with what my voice is and what I should be saying, but I can take the time to figure that out and build on top of this new foundation I'm setting.  Regardless of how my voice evolves, I know Value will be one of the core pillars of my online presence.

Be the change you want to see in the world, even when it's something as trivial as what's trending on Twitter.