Neutral

Because I don't want to post only when I'm having a rough time, I will tell you, my college friend, about the good things here. First of all, there is a dogwood tree outside of Huston with red and white flowers. I didn't know that dogwoods could have red flowers, let alone both colors on the same tree! That perked up my day and it brings a smile about every time I see it. Also, interpersonal comm is full, and so is beginning stage movement. Although I would love to be in stage movement (and I hopefully will be later), I am glad that I have this credit opening. I was freaking out earlier because it hit me that unless I took a music lesson next semester, there would be one semester that I would have to take two lessons. And I didn't think that it would be a good idea to take a lesson next semester because I will be in volleyball and SGA. I am so thankful that I am not able to get into stage movement because not I will fill that spot with something that I need. God's amazing.
Monday I went to breakfast and I saw my friend Peter Holby! I was extremely happy to see him again. That afternoon, Joy, Peter and I went up to Buzzard's... uh... peak/point/place/precipice... you know what I mean. We had a blast and we took some great pictures. We all got so dirty and we got a lot of scratches but no one fell off the cliff so we're okay. And the Saturday before this, Millie, Laura, Devon and I went to the Spacek campsite for the day. We had a blast. We swam in -40 degree water, stood only a few feet from the edge of a dangerous waterfall, had smores, played with the dogs!, and acted like ourselves. It was wonderful.
So things aren't so bad here, but there's still a lot of junk to sort through. I'm not going to write about it, though, because I'm not too much of a fan of that, putting every single problem of mine out for the world to see, even though I have done that before and I will probably do it again. But not today. Today I will be happy.Oh, and I have just recently become mercilessly addicted to the tv show, LOST.

Negative

So I haven't been keeping up with blogging, and a ton of stuff has happened in between times including one wonderful Monday night filled with playing army man with Devon, climbing trees with Molly and frolicking in the Grassy Bowl and Wesley asking Devon to the Bryan banquet (no, I haven't been asked, but I'm not expecting to be asked. It's a really small and informal banquet.) Also, Sunday night swing dancing was amazing. Just great and so much fun. I'm still learning a lot but I'm so glad that I'm learning. This one fellow seems to have taken it upon himself to teach me how to swing dance and we've done a few different dips, the soda pop, and a back-flip! It's so great. And clean!
But, I wanted to write because I've been struggling with stress and junk. Unless I'm playing or just gone done with practice, I really wish that I wasn't playing volleyball next year. It's going to take so much time and I don't want to give that time to volleyball. And, with SGA it's going to be even harder to juggle my schedule. And don't forget, the biggest thing for the sophomore SGA is Spirit Week and Homecoming banquet, both of which happen to be right in the middle of volleyball season. I'm dead. And I'm stupid for getting myself here. I want to do so many things, but the reality of it is that I don't have the time for it all. Or the energy. But actually, God's gotten me here and He's not stupid. Even though I can't see anything wonderful coming out of my outrageously busy schedule next semester, God's going to use it somehow. (Even if he's going to teach me how to better plan my time.) Oh God, please help me to trust You with this small thing, my time. It really seems so huge to me and it's going to be so hard to let go, but I do know that You've got Your hand over me and that You won't let me die. Oh God! Please give me peace about this and let m know that it will be alright. Send me people who will really encourage me. God, I feel like I'm going to need someone to help me with this everyday. I feel terrible that I'm in this mess. Lord, I wish that I could just quit volleyball but I can't. I do know that You can use me on the team, but please remind me of this when I doubt myself. And when I doubt You. Oh God! I'm doubting You and Your control of my life and time. Lord, I'm sorry. Help me to trust You. Help me to trust You. Help me to trust You. I need You. And Lord, one more thing as a side-note, even though I've already asked for so much. Please help me to not think about boys so much. God, help me to focus on You and on things that are good. Help me to love You more. Help me to know You more. I want this. I want You. Amen.

Spring Break so far

Thursday night was extremely busy, but I didn't try to rush. In fact, I spent quite a while dancing in the hall with Kim after Step in Time. I casually carried out the tasks of laundry, packing, and Pentateuch homework. I stayed up till around 2 am but I still had my English paper due the next day at 1 o' clock. The next morning, I left Pentateuch early so that I could see all of my chorale friends off for their tour of the east coast. (I wish so badly that I was with them.) The tour bus was late because it got stuck in traffic Atlanta from a terrible wreck. Elisabeth and I ended up staying down by the cafeteria for one and a half hours, using up precious homework time. The bus eventually came and left and it was sort of sad seeing so many of my friends going somewhere without me. I don't know how I'm going to survive summer break. Elisabeth and I ran back to Huston to hurry with out homework but I read the new script Katrina gave me first. Then I packed a bit more. I hate doing English homework. I did get started on it though, but then Devon called me and asked about lunch because we had decided to have lunch together. I went down to the cafeteria with her for a mediocre meal. Luckily, the incentive to do English had not left me so when I got back to my room, I finished up my paper, printed it out and ran to class with one minute to spare. I was very glad to see that Dr. Jones was running late, too. He wasn't even there yet! I had to leave English early so that I could make sure that I had everything packed up and ready to go because I was going to be riding with Alli and she wanted to leave at 2. I hurried around packing things into my duffel bag and asking people to help me take my luggage downstairs. I remembered that I also had to take out the trash and clean the mirrors so I hastily did those, too. When I got everything outside and ready to pile into Alli's SUV, I took my phone out of my bag and saw that I had missed calls and a voice message. It was Alli to saying that she was running a bit behind and also Peter wanting to know when I was going to be home. I was glad that I wold have a little time to relax so I called Peter and talked until it was time to leave. Alli and I had a pleasant drive and talked the whole time. She was going to drop me off at her house where Christian, my friend from high school was going to pick me up and drive me the rest of the way. One problem, though, Christian hadn't even looked up mapquest and he was counting on me to give him directions. Needless to say, he got lost many times and he met us over an hour past scheduled. But he did meet us and that's what was important. Christian and I also had a good drive and we arrived alive. He dropped me off at my church where the youth was having a huge viewing of Facing the Giants. I came in near the end and my family was happy to see me. I sat with Taylor for the rest of the movie and at the end, Mr Greg preached. One guy got saved and that was great! Later, they gave out door prizes and an ipod nano for the teen who brought the most people. Taylor got the ipod! (And another girl tied with her, or so they say, and so she got one, too.) A ton of people from school were there and that was cool, but I got to watch them and I started to get kind of sad. My private christian school with less than 40 in the high school has changed so much from when my class was there and everyone agrees. My class was somewhat of a lower class of teachers and role models and even disciplinarians sometimes. Now, our school is just wilder. Fights, stupid couple relationships... it's becoming like a typical public school or something. It's like I'm not even going home anymore when I go there. (And, by the way, it was like home to me.)Anyways, when it was time to go home, we brought five other girls with us because my sister was having a sleepover birthday party. I know all of the girls, and I was glad to have three of them over at our house. It was cool to see them again. I fell asleep in the recliner watching Sand Lot with the girls and I woke up at 3 and went to bed. Michal fell asleep on the couch and moved at 5. That morning, I showered and went down to breakfast which was delicious. The girls went outside and tried to catch Pedro, one of our chickens. They never succeeded in anything but accidentally letting the chicken out of the pen. Mom got mad, but they did get Pedro back in the pen eventually. We all played sardines until the girls started to leave. When Peter came to pick Michal up, I went with them to their house. When we got there, Peter and I went into the woods to take pictures and to go to the creek. My shoes got so muddy that I had to wear his flip flops for the rest of the day. Peter and I wanted to get over the swollen creek and the only way was over a fallen tree. We made it safely, but on the way back over and up the tree, I was almost to the top and when I came up over the tree, the biggest thorns ever scratched my face. I also have a huge gash on my left leg. When we came out of the woods, Seth and Christian were there and they wanted to take pictures of a horse they saw on the way to the house and of a tree they also saw. So we trekked to see this horse with a bag of BBQ chips in tow. Then we went to the field where the tree was. While Christian and Seth went right to get a better view of the tree, Peter and I went left to the super green field across the street. We ran through the green like little kids and Seth and Christian came, too. The boys took many pictures; they all had their cameras. When we got ready to leave, Peter realised that he didn't have his phone. He had lost it in the field. Well, we couldn't leave without it so we had to look for it. I called his phone so that we would be able to hear it, but you'd have to be within a foot to hear it because the ring tone is so quiet. We scoured the field and then Peter thought that it might have fallen closer to the road. He was right and after about 20 minutes or so of searching, Christian heard Peter's phone and the hunt was over!Then, Christian and Seth also wanted to take pictures of an old gas station sign so we went there, too. We finally got to go back to Peter's house where we waited for Justin to meet us so that we could get a movie. We had noodles for dinner and we watched a surfing documentary which was very interesting until they came. Justin also brought two of his friends form college, Jamal and Christian. So when they came, we all rode to Blockbuster where to get The Departed and The Prestige. They were out of the Prestige and I didn't really want to watch the Departed because of its rating so I was trying to find a movie that would be ok. I saw the Illusionist and I remembered that a lot of my friends at college liked it so I mentioned that movie. Christian took it up, talked it over with the guys, and rented it along with The Departed. Then we went to Seth's house, me being the only girl, and Seth declared that we were going to watch The Illusionist first, "For Lindsay's sake." Thank you, Seth! I really enjoyed the movie and when it was over, Peter took me home. Sunday was normal: church, lunch at Red Robin (teriyaki burgers=the best). Back at home, I got to read the color comics, a wonderful thing. I just chilled until nigh church. I had to ride with Mom to church early because she works in Awana and I was over an hour early so I read over my new script and I read my book. That was good. The next day, Monday, today, I didn't wake up until 11:30. (The rest of my family was at work and at school.) I went straight from bed to the piano bench where I stayed until my wrist began to hurt 2 hours later. Then I made yummy macaroni and cheese from leftover noodles. I watched tv classics like Full House until Dad and Taylor came home. Taylor got her hair cut short and it looks adorable! Not much else happened for the rest of the day. I chilled with some computer flash games, IMed a bit and now I'm writing this. I hope to go to bed before 11:10, which I should. I want to close the computer no later than 10:30. Maybe I'll read after that. I love reading. I forget how much I love it until I get to again. I need to get some more books, like the kind that Julie always read. The book I'm reading now is embedded in Old Celtic history and mythology and I love it. It's the first of a trilogy and I really hope that I'll be able to read this one by itself because I don't have the others. I plan on finishing this book before break's over and the other book I'm supposed to be reading that Peter gave me is back at college. What e'er shall I do?Well my friends, that is all for now. On Wednesday I have optometrist and chiropractor appointments. I also need to go to the dentist, and UNFORTUNATELY, I think I need to go to the doctor's to get an x-ray of my wrist. I fear that it may be broken because it still hurts when I move it certain ways, and it got sore after piano today. I really don't want it to be broken because I'm sure that they'd have to re-break it to fix it. It already hurt so much when I hurt it the first time. I don't want to end on a sad note so I'll bring up how great it is to be in my own room again with my comfortable mattress and the woods all around. Tomorrow will be another good day filled with music, the woods, and maybe even some homework! Aren't you proud?