Yes. I've finished up Pentateuch forever. And I certainly ended it in a flop. I only took 25 minutes on the exam, but this is not uncommon. I tend to take tests quickly, especially when I've studied a lot or not enough. Either I know it or I don't.
Well, thanks to the problems my computer has been having with the mouse, I have become pretty keyboard shortcut savvy. But it is quite a pain when the keyboard doesn't respond either.
Mindy and Kelly are playing the keyboard loudly next door on the organ setting... The sun is shining through our windows. Erin is napping. I am facing the window. The sound of the air conditioner is picked up in my ears and it sounds comforting and soothing. The tail of Erin's kite is moving in the "breeze" from the AC. And the sunlight falls on the green carpet that reminds me of Puerto Rico. My bed is made with the Mexican blanket on top. I just remembered that my dad is in Russia. Everything stops. Resume. The sink area is clean. The room is clean over all. My Communist bag is on the floor. Water bottle to my left. Hair dryer on the floor to my right. Merchant of Venice straight ahead on my bed. Ha, and I need to go straight ahead.
I love it here. Right now. It seems so peaceful with the temperature, the sunshine, no artificial light, Erin asleep, the room clean, the sound of the AC, ponytail, hoodie, jeans, and barefoot. I'm glad that I'm awake for it and that I'm not asleep myself. I ask myself, who could ask for a better setting in which to do homework? I reply, "Well, you certainly are enjoying yourself, Lindsay. And you would feel even better if you used this time for good, if you used it to be productive." Hm, yes, you're right, uh, I'm right... um, yeah.
Ok then, here I go. I would rather stay, because blogging is beautiful pastime for such a beautiful time as this. Yes, I am content and I want to write about somethings and nothings. Like now.
Thank you to Lauren Page, by the way, and Devon. Now I'm thinking but I'm worried that I'm thinking and worrying too much. And it makes me whimper inside because I'm confused. Mom says to pray, but how will I know the answer? She says to pray for discernment, wisdom, and good judgement for all of the parties involved. (haha, funny choice of words)
And I do know how annoying ambiguous posts can be, but I don't think anybody reads this blog so I don't care.
Don't worry, those last few sentences did not ruin the amazingness of this time. I think that this time is magic. Everything seems still, but not dead. It's peaceful. It's perfect.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Untitled because I can't think of anything
I am rewarding myself for all of that crazy work by allowing myself to write another Xanga post. I want to do the same thing that Millie and others have been doing by looking back on the highlights of my freshman year. So, from the beginning of my Bryan experience:
First of all, Summit where I think social life really branched out from what it was in high school. It was at Summit that my interest in the ninja first came about. You see, everyone at Summit was divided into teams, and I was on the team of the Green Ninjas.
Then there was volleyball pre-season where I met my amazing JV team. During pre-season, Kimmy and I had good times where we would go down to the Huston lounge and play our instruments and sing. Jenny would join us sometimes, too.
I remember my first all-nighter, first week of school. I had to write my paper for Summit about Christianity and the Arts. I remember Millie and Devon giving me ideas. I remember Seth Thomas having to do his, too, but he actually got a few hours of sleep.
Orientation week! I remember meeting Sweeny at the sand volleyball court and talking about the key around his neck. I remember Kim winning the limbo competition at the luau part. I remember meeting Rob in the lunch line and playing sardines in Rudd with him. I remember getting to meet Sarah Ward with whom I had instant messaged all summer. And I remember meeting the rest of my online Biblical Foundations class. I remember finding that Jessi would be my RA and it was amazing. I remember asking upperclassmen, "Are you a freshman, too?" I remember walking on base and seeing Allison McLean and talking for half an hour to this girl I'd just met.
I remember Spirit Week and getting to know Molly a bit more. I dressed up as Violet from the Incredibles for Disney Day and that was fun. Homecoming was ok but not the time around it. That was rough. And there was another rough time where I was devastated after hearing some very bad news and having situations around me. I was completely drained and I about broke down. Kimmy took me to the flag pole after music theory and we talked, prayed, and sang. I did feel immensely better after that, but at my 12 o' clock, I realized that I had really let one of my friends down and I hit rock bottom again. I decided that this was pathetic and I decided to play my violin to make me feel better. Well, by golly it worked like a charm. I really felt like I could take on anything after playing for an hour and twenty minutes
.I remember talking to Elizabeth Yates and Dwight about guys and finding that Elizabeth and I had the same idea of the perfect guy. Later, we got Dwight to tell us about his perfect girl.
I remember Kimmy coming home with me for Fall Break and taking pictures in Peter's woods and also going into my woods. We went to the Highland Scottish Festival with me wearing my Beat Covenant shirt. Ironically, we met some guys from Covenant.I remember taping leaves and vines around the door to our room and changing out the foliage with the seasons.
I remember jam sessions with Bryan, Chris, Joe, Nate, Ashley, David, and Emily. I remember meeting Wesley and recording his song with him. I remember being glad that I played violin but being sad that I wasn't able to take lessons anymore. I remember Devon teaching me how to play some guitar.I remember widening my choice of music to more than CCM, haha. I remember discovering that I loved Relient K and listening to them 24/7. I remember finding 12 Stones and Thousand Foot Krutch.
I remember the Christmas Banquet and getting to know Lauren Page, most precious of girls. We went together with Bryan and Phillip and we had a blast. We went to Melissa Brown's house afterwards and played Catch Phrase.
I remember Ninja Day! An excellent bonding time with Devon and Millie. This was definitely one of the huge highlights of the year. Wearing all black and masks and carrying around paper shurikens and plastic swords. Pure amazingness.
I remember Christmas Break and playing for my parents' vow renewal/second wedding. I remember going to North Carolina and counting Moravian stars with my sister.
I remember "modern art" with the leftover food from brunch one Saturday. I remember Molly's ninja initiation. I remember so much snow in February. I remember Presidential weekend. I remember playing violin with John Moore on mandolin and presidential candidates on guitars.
I remember spraining my wrist and how much it hurt and Lauren Page feeling badly about it. I remember that embarrassing audition for the directing class. I remember forgetting to wear my wrist brace to the Valentine's Banquet. I remember going to Sweeny's house afterwards for ice cream. I remember going to a Concerto concert in Collegedale with Millie, Devon, Molly, and Sweey and going to Sweeny's afterwards again. And then we hopped over the Georgia line and dug up some dirt to take back to college because Molly and I were so homesick. I remember Ally Adams and I going to three culturally different churches and feeling awkward in all of them except for the only one where they spoke a different language, the Spanish Bible study.
I remember falling in love with the Newsies. I remember Lindsay's tattoo parlor. I remember open dorm, Friday, February 23 and the many pictures we took. I remember Nathan teaching me how to swing dance better. I remember looking forward to Sunday night every week.
I remember Spring Break and how it took Christian forever to find me and pick me up from Ali's town. I remember Peter's woods and taking pictures in the field and then looking for Peter's phone in the field. It was cool getting to meet some of Justin's college friends, and I had fun watching the Illusionist with the guys.
I remember Wesley asking Devon to the birthday banquet. That was the night when Devon and I were playing army man in Rudd, I fell (and then was puched) into a bush about five times, and Molly and I were speaking as if we were from Pride and Prejudice in the Grassy Bowl. I remember the Bryan Birthday Banquet and the beautiful Chorale concert that followed. I remember falling asleep while watching Stranger than Fiction during open dorm. I remember that fun Saturday with Devon's family and how we swam in freezing water. I liked getting to hang out with Chloe and Chevi, too. (I think it's Chloe...)
I remember Devon's wonderful quote that made me spew hot chocolate coffee all over Millie's bed. "I'm so confusadora." I remember a sardine picnic with Devon and worrying that we smelled like firsh for the rest of the day. I remember Meg coming to visit. Man, was she entertaining. "Nothing is boring in the world of Meg." "You haven't seen Mean Girls? Shut up!" etc...
I remember taking Kimmy home with me again for Easter weekend. We had a blast. Six Flags, Toby Mac, egg dying, woods, family, and food. I was great.
I remember Into the Woods and how amazing it was. I was so looking forward to seeing it and getting to see my friends perform.
I remember the Masquerade and Film Festival. I remember two license plates: Wyoming, and the ever better South Dakota. After taking pictures at Rembrandt's, we went to Sweeny's again for ice cream and cookie pizza. Andrew, thank you so much for all the times you invited us to your house!
I remember acting sort of for the first time. Katrina was so very encouraging and I'm so glad that I got to work with her first. Many a good quote did I get from Odd Couple scenes. But I remember the Net, and I shudder. Wesley was also very encouraging and I wanted to do that monologue well for him. I remember what a blast Rumors was. Ah! so funny.
I remember talking to Justin, Christian, Peter, and Wendy about stuff and getting excited about getting to hang with them and over the summer. I made a facebook group for the Heritage Christian School senior class of 2006 and we have been reminiscing and laughing a ton.
I remember freaking out about all of the homework I had to do, but then I calmed down. I think I calmed down a bit too much. I did have a lot to do, but I ended up putting a lot of my work off till the last minute. But I'm down with it now and I'm so happy!
This was an excellent year. I made such great friendships that will only get better. I think that I learned a lot. but it's hard to tell. I've already posted about how hard it's going to be this summer without you guys, so I won't repeat myself, even though I want to. Hm, how would one change that last sentence so that it wouldn't end in a preposition? "Even though I want to do so" sounds way too formal so I'm just going to stick with the first way and sign off.Ah, but first, here are some fun things that I like to use as AIM away messages:
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is the fear of long words.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
In a wonderful forum about "Living in Sin" by Adrienne Rich...
Added by: frank the tank (And, by the way, this is quoted word for word, spelling and all.)
'I agree with what is said and this peom is by far the best peom i have ever read. Shout out to jane and joe whos trapt in the middle of the atlantic . . . wut up homies. Knibb High Football Rules! PEACE"
You have just received the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don't have computers, it is based on the honor system. So please delete all the files from your computer. Thank you for you cooperation.
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
Thank you, Dayton!
First of all, Summit where I think social life really branched out from what it was in high school. It was at Summit that my interest in the ninja first came about. You see, everyone at Summit was divided into teams, and I was on the team of the Green Ninjas.
Then there was volleyball pre-season where I met my amazing JV team. During pre-season, Kimmy and I had good times where we would go down to the Huston lounge and play our instruments and sing. Jenny would join us sometimes, too.
I remember my first all-nighter, first week of school. I had to write my paper for Summit about Christianity and the Arts. I remember Millie and Devon giving me ideas. I remember Seth Thomas having to do his, too, but he actually got a few hours of sleep.
Orientation week! I remember meeting Sweeny at the sand volleyball court and talking about the key around his neck. I remember Kim winning the limbo competition at the luau part. I remember meeting Rob in the lunch line and playing sardines in Rudd with him. I remember getting to meet Sarah Ward with whom I had instant messaged all summer. And I remember meeting the rest of my online Biblical Foundations class. I remember finding that Jessi would be my RA and it was amazing. I remember asking upperclassmen, "Are you a freshman, too?" I remember walking on base and seeing Allison McLean and talking for half an hour to this girl I'd just met.
I remember Spirit Week and getting to know Molly a bit more. I dressed up as Violet from the Incredibles for Disney Day and that was fun. Homecoming was ok but not the time around it. That was rough. And there was another rough time where I was devastated after hearing some very bad news and having situations around me. I was completely drained and I about broke down. Kimmy took me to the flag pole after music theory and we talked, prayed, and sang. I did feel immensely better after that, but at my 12 o' clock, I realized that I had really let one of my friends down and I hit rock bottom again. I decided that this was pathetic and I decided to play my violin to make me feel better. Well, by golly it worked like a charm. I really felt like I could take on anything after playing for an hour and twenty minutes
.I remember talking to Elizabeth Yates and Dwight about guys and finding that Elizabeth and I had the same idea of the perfect guy. Later, we got Dwight to tell us about his perfect girl.
I remember Kimmy coming home with me for Fall Break and taking pictures in Peter's woods and also going into my woods. We went to the Highland Scottish Festival with me wearing my Beat Covenant shirt. Ironically, we met some guys from Covenant.I remember taping leaves and vines around the door to our room and changing out the foliage with the seasons.
I remember jam sessions with Bryan, Chris, Joe, Nate, Ashley, David, and Emily. I remember meeting Wesley and recording his song with him. I remember being glad that I played violin but being sad that I wasn't able to take lessons anymore. I remember Devon teaching me how to play some guitar.I remember widening my choice of music to more than CCM, haha. I remember discovering that I loved Relient K and listening to them 24/7. I remember finding 12 Stones and Thousand Foot Krutch.
I remember the Christmas Banquet and getting to know Lauren Page, most precious of girls. We went together with Bryan and Phillip and we had a blast. We went to Melissa Brown's house afterwards and played Catch Phrase.
I remember Ninja Day! An excellent bonding time with Devon and Millie. This was definitely one of the huge highlights of the year. Wearing all black and masks and carrying around paper shurikens and plastic swords. Pure amazingness.
I remember Christmas Break and playing for my parents' vow renewal/second wedding. I remember going to North Carolina and counting Moravian stars with my sister.
I remember "modern art" with the leftover food from brunch one Saturday. I remember Molly's ninja initiation. I remember so much snow in February. I remember Presidential weekend. I remember playing violin with John Moore on mandolin and presidential candidates on guitars.
I remember spraining my wrist and how much it hurt and Lauren Page feeling badly about it. I remember that embarrassing audition for the directing class. I remember forgetting to wear my wrist brace to the Valentine's Banquet. I remember going to Sweeny's house afterwards for ice cream. I remember going to a Concerto concert in Collegedale with Millie, Devon, Molly, and Sweey and going to Sweeny's afterwards again. And then we hopped over the Georgia line and dug up some dirt to take back to college because Molly and I were so homesick. I remember Ally Adams and I going to three culturally different churches and feeling awkward in all of them except for the only one where they spoke a different language, the Spanish Bible study.
I remember falling in love with the Newsies. I remember Lindsay's tattoo parlor. I remember open dorm, Friday, February 23 and the many pictures we took. I remember Nathan teaching me how to swing dance better. I remember looking forward to Sunday night every week.
I remember Spring Break and how it took Christian forever to find me and pick me up from Ali's town. I remember Peter's woods and taking pictures in the field and then looking for Peter's phone in the field. It was cool getting to meet some of Justin's college friends, and I had fun watching the Illusionist with the guys.
I remember Wesley asking Devon to the birthday banquet. That was the night when Devon and I were playing army man in Rudd, I fell (and then was puched) into a bush about five times, and Molly and I were speaking as if we were from Pride and Prejudice in the Grassy Bowl. I remember the Bryan Birthday Banquet and the beautiful Chorale concert that followed. I remember falling asleep while watching Stranger than Fiction during open dorm. I remember that fun Saturday with Devon's family and how we swam in freezing water. I liked getting to hang out with Chloe and Chevi, too. (I think it's Chloe...)
I remember Devon's wonderful quote that made me spew hot chocolate coffee all over Millie's bed. "I'm so confusadora." I remember a sardine picnic with Devon and worrying that we smelled like firsh for the rest of the day. I remember Meg coming to visit. Man, was she entertaining. "Nothing is boring in the world of Meg." "You haven't seen Mean Girls? Shut up!" etc...
I remember taking Kimmy home with me again for Easter weekend. We had a blast. Six Flags, Toby Mac, egg dying, woods, family, and food. I was great.
I remember Into the Woods and how amazing it was. I was so looking forward to seeing it and getting to see my friends perform.
I remember the Masquerade and Film Festival. I remember two license plates: Wyoming, and the ever better South Dakota. After taking pictures at Rembrandt's, we went to Sweeny's again for ice cream and cookie pizza. Andrew, thank you so much for all the times you invited us to your house!
I remember acting sort of for the first time. Katrina was so very encouraging and I'm so glad that I got to work with her first. Many a good quote did I get from Odd Couple scenes. But I remember the Net, and I shudder. Wesley was also very encouraging and I wanted to do that monologue well for him. I remember what a blast Rumors was. Ah! so funny.
I remember talking to Justin, Christian, Peter, and Wendy about stuff and getting excited about getting to hang with them and over the summer. I made a facebook group for the Heritage Christian School senior class of 2006 and we have been reminiscing and laughing a ton.
I remember freaking out about all of the homework I had to do, but then I calmed down. I think I calmed down a bit too much. I did have a lot to do, but I ended up putting a lot of my work off till the last minute. But I'm down with it now and I'm so happy!
This was an excellent year. I made such great friendships that will only get better. I think that I learned a lot. but it's hard to tell. I've already posted about how hard it's going to be this summer without you guys, so I won't repeat myself, even though I want to. Hm, how would one change that last sentence so that it wouldn't end in a preposition? "Even though I want to do so" sounds way too formal so I'm just going to stick with the first way and sign off.Ah, but first, here are some fun things that I like to use as AIM away messages:
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is the fear of long words.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
In a wonderful forum about "Living in Sin" by Adrienne Rich...
Added by: frank the tank (And, by the way, this is quoted word for word, spelling and all.)
'I agree with what is said and this peom is by far the best peom i have ever read. Shout out to jane and joe whos trapt in the middle of the atlantic . . . wut up homies. Knibb High Football Rules! PEACE"
You have just received the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don't have computers, it is based on the honor system. So please delete all the files from your computer. Thank you for you cooperation.
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
Thank you, Dayton!
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Thank You note to God
Thank you for the strawberries last night. They were so refreshing and special. Thank you for my friends who love me. (And even for those who don't) Thank you for letting me find a dress for tonight. Thank you for letting my mask turn out pretty well and for the materials with which to make it. Thank you for the company I will be enjoying this evening. Thank you for letting me not be the person who put the styrofoam cups of water outside Millie and Devon's room. Thank you for making my computer mouse to not be messing up as much now. Thank you for a sense of grammar so I know when my last sentence doesn't seem to sound right. Thank you for letting me love Disney. Thank you for making me different. Thank you for creativity. Thank you for music. Thank you for Disney music. Thank you for my violin and for the talent to play it. Thank you for the magical soothing powers Celtic music has, and the music from Pochahontas. Thank you for Strawberry Pocky! Thank you for the standards my parents and Mrs. Julie have instilled in me. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the wonderful woods! Thank you for green. Thank you for maple and oak. Thank you for the creek. Thank you for solitude. Thank you for a sense of what beauty is. Thank you so much for my family. Dad, Mom, and Taylor. Thank you for our home and for where it is. Thank you for ice cream! Thank you for Riley. Thank you for our piano. Thank you for home, again. Thank you for home a million times! Thank you for the chickens. Thank you for jigsaw puzzles. Thank you for Risk, Mouse Trap, the lisense plate game, air hockey, Mancala, Egyptian Rat Screw. Thank you for the branches that fell from the trees that we made teepees with. Thank you for all of the rusty junk left from the residents before us that we collected. Thank you for the green carpet, the map of the Caribbean, and the machetes that make the green room so cool. Thank you for the antiques on the wall, the fireplace, and the plants that sit on the fireplace during the winter that make the den so homey. Thank you for the happy plants in the dining room taht make it so happy. Thank you for the island in the kitchen that was always fun and that always was in need of cleaning. Thank you for the porches that Daddy built. Thank you a dad who is good at everything and who made the stone pathways in the backyard. Thank you for the venison jerkey Dad makes sometimes and thank you for the smoothies he makes for often. And thank you for college. Thank you that I am able to further my education at Bryan. Thank you for the volleyball team. Thank you for Jessi. Thank you for my music theory class. Thank you for Rudd. Thank you for the flower trees on campus. Thank you for letting me be able to see the mountains from here. Thank you for a great roommate. Thank you for great hallmates! Thank you for Dr. Jones. Thank you for everybody whom I don't want to name because I don't want to accidentally forget someone. Thank you for what I've learned. Thank you for the fun connections I have with people. Thank you for swing dancing and for helping me to learn more. Thank you for the sardine picnic. Thank you for Wal-Mart. Thank you for common sense. Thank you for headphones. Thank you for lava lamps. Thank you for even pink. Thank you for dark chocolate and chocolate in general. Thank you for fruit! Thank you for mushrooms and the availbaility of them here. Thank you for milk. Thank you for ninjas. Thank you for some girls that I just can't not name anymore: Devon, Millie, Molly, Kim, Jessi, and Ashley. And thank you for Joe. Thank you for the huge encouragement these people and others have been. Thank you for the tons of fun! Thank you for the directing class. Thank you for making Calista force me into the auditions. Thank you for cameras. Thank you for boys. Thank you for flip flops. Thank you for orange and blue. Thank you for helping me learn the littlest bit of guitar this semester. Thank you for good movies, and for what I think are good movies. Thank you for other people's opinions. Thank you for Dwight. Thank you for safety. Thank you for everything I haven't put here and for what I've forgotten. Please help me to be truly thankful.
Oh, and thank you for techno music and especially the German techno Rubber Duckey song.
http://avalee.imeem.com/music/cz9Vga3p/german_techno_rubber_ducky_song/
Oh, and thank you for techno music and especially the German techno Rubber Duckey song.
http://avalee.imeem.com/music/cz9Vga3p/german_techno_rubber_ducky_song/
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
My most used phrase applies here: Whatever
Yes, it is weird how you can post things on the internet and anybody can read it. But, we choose to put it on here. So I'll just have to be careful about what I write about. And about my spelling. Are you reading this?
I had something to write about but I can't remember it. . . Darn, what was it? Ah! I remember. It had to do with music. My dad sent me an email yesterday saying that he was thinking about all of my talkings about music and dealings with music and he asked why don't I just change my major to music. "Well," I thought. "I'd never really thought of that. I never even seriously considered it when I was choosing a major because I didn't think that I wanted to have a career in music." And then of course, I think about what do/did I want my career to be in? (I'm pretty sure I'm repeating my self by talking about this topic so much, but, my faithful readers, I don't care. And perhaps this will just show you just how prevalent it is in my mind.) So, what did I want my career to be in? Well, before I went to Russia, I was dead set on Marine Biology. Well, actually, I was wavering between oceanography and marine biology, but I was leaning more to the biology. I was even looking at (dare I say it) UGA because of their marine biology program. A lot of that changed when I went to Russia. I have loved all of the short-term mission trips I've been on and I thought that I could be a missionary all of my life. And when I went to Russia, I met up with an American couple (from Griffin, GA) to taught English as a second language. Hey, that's cool. That was during a time when I was learning the Angerthas and the Tengwar alphabets, Cyrillic, and I was teaching myself some Russian and taking Spanish classes. So much fun. So, I figured, hey, I think I like this language stuff. I don't really know about teaching, but something with languages, that would be great. Maybe I could learn Russian fluently and be a translator, too, all the while I would be doing missionary work. So that was my plan. That's why I became a Communications major at Bryan College aiming for a Linguistics minor (because it's not offered as a major) and I tagged on the music minor mainly because so much was invested into my music, I wasn't half-bad at it, and it would be a total waste if I didn't further my music education. Well, when I got to college, I guess I began living in the now so much that I lost sight of my dream. But then all of this talk about the calling made me think that, you know, just because I want it, that doesn't mean that God wants it for me. It's true that God tends to call people to lives that match their interests, but, I'm interested in music, too. In fact, that interest has grown since college started. I think I could live with music. So, it's totally up in the air. It's like I had my neat and tidy plans titled "My Life" all written out in one perfectly straight stack, and then the wind came, blowing all of them out of my hands and almost out of my reach. Many of them are getting dirty in the puddle. And my hair is wind-blown and there is that agitated look on my face that says, "great, now what." And I guess all of a sudden, this music idea comes up and says, "Hey, why don't you try me?"
"What, are you kidding me?"
"No. You know you like me."
"But what is there in music besides performing or teaching?"
"What's wrong with teaching? If you taught music, it may help you get into countries easier so you could do some of that missionary stuff you were talking about. And, you can get good money from it in the States."
"Yeah, whatever. I have, like, no patience."
"Besides, who said that you had to have a musical career? Just because something is your major, it doesn't mean you're signing a contract with that something."
"That's true."
"Lindsay, you know you love it."
"Well, I'm at least very fond of it. I don't know. I just don't know. Maybe I'll talk to Jessi about it and my advisor, Mr. B." Am I allowed to say, "Whatever!" ?
This story that my youth pastor told one time always comes back to when I think of this whole future thing. Apparently, there was this one girl who was supposed to be a missionary, as in, God told her to go somewhere. But her parents didn't let her and they made her stay home. And then she died. Yeah. I think it's a true story, but it's not like I should worry about something like this. Bugh! How in the world is one supposed to know what one's calling is! How am I supposed to know what I'm supposed to do! It's crazy. I would really appreciate a letter sent down by an angel that says, "To: Lindsay: It is my plan for you to do this, marry this guy, do this, and here's your job description. Peace out, girl. Sincerely, God." But instead, I have the chance to mess up this one life that's been allotted to me. Actually, I have a million chances to mess up this life.
Here's a quote I have taped to my wall: "God's will is . . . for us to make decisions." - Kyle Lake I can agree with that. I would really like to make that my motto. Cause the truth is, we don't have a plan to follow. Ugh, this is so confusing. God is there for us, right, and He will help us and give us peace at times. But He will let us make mistakes. I think that maybe, if we do our best to glorify Him with our lives, that He will take care of the rest. Right? I mean, God could use me as much on the mission field as in a biology lab or in an orchestra or something else.
I also think about a guy can make you change your mind about what you want to do. I want to be a lawyer but you want to carry on your family farm and I love you so I'll drop my dreams and go be your wife and live with you in the middle of Nowhere, Oklahoma. And who's to say if that's right or wrong. I suppose if one did hear a voice or get a letter from God saying to do this or that then it would be deliberate disobedience to go against that. I don't know. I guess we should just be flexible. So, a Communications major would be flexible. What about music? I do like it a lot.
Man, why am I even worrying about this, it's only my first year of college. Because I am preparing for the future, right, with all of the classes I'm taking.
Ok woah, I've been listening to the oldest Christian songs lately and would just happen to start playing? "God is in Control" by Twila Paris. I'm telling you, irony has been stalking me lately. Well, actually, I can't tell you. Anyways, let's listen to the song from ages ago... Hm... "There is one thing that has always been true. It will be true forever. God is in control. We believe that His children will not be forsaken..." That's about the only part that's really relevant here. Oh wait here we go: "He has never let you down, why start to worry now. Why start to worry now? He is still the Lord of all we see and He is still the Loving Father watching over you and me." Hm, ok, so I guess we make decisions that we believe will glorify God and He will be in control and He will take care of us. Is that right? Yeah, that song didn't really -speak- to me, but the title was a little reminder.
So, that is what I'm thinking right now, but don't worry, it's not what I think about all of the time. Oh certainly not. There's too much time for day dreaming to waste it on worrying. Lindsay, just turn on that Celtic music and chill out. Ok, I'll do that.
I'm not really that crazy. I don't often argue "aloud" with myself. I do tend to write really long blog entries, though. So, if you have taken the time to read this entry, please, please, please leave a comment and tell me what you think. (Besides, of course, something like, "Lindsay, you chica loca, what the heck are you talking about?)
So, that's about it. Well, that's all I'm going to write about right now.
Peace out,
Sincerely,
Lindsay
I had something to write about but I can't remember it. . . Darn, what was it? Ah! I remember. It had to do with music. My dad sent me an email yesterday saying that he was thinking about all of my talkings about music and dealings with music and he asked why don't I just change my major to music. "Well," I thought. "I'd never really thought of that. I never even seriously considered it when I was choosing a major because I didn't think that I wanted to have a career in music." And then of course, I think about what do/did I want my career to be in? (I'm pretty sure I'm repeating my self by talking about this topic so much, but, my faithful readers, I don't care. And perhaps this will just show you just how prevalent it is in my mind.) So, what did I want my career to be in? Well, before I went to Russia, I was dead set on Marine Biology. Well, actually, I was wavering between oceanography and marine biology, but I was leaning more to the biology. I was even looking at (dare I say it) UGA because of their marine biology program. A lot of that changed when I went to Russia. I have loved all of the short-term mission trips I've been on and I thought that I could be a missionary all of my life. And when I went to Russia, I met up with an American couple (from Griffin, GA) to taught English as a second language. Hey, that's cool. That was during a time when I was learning the Angerthas and the Tengwar alphabets, Cyrillic, and I was teaching myself some Russian and taking Spanish classes. So much fun. So, I figured, hey, I think I like this language stuff. I don't really know about teaching, but something with languages, that would be great. Maybe I could learn Russian fluently and be a translator, too, all the while I would be doing missionary work. So that was my plan. That's why I became a Communications major at Bryan College aiming for a Linguistics minor (because it's not offered as a major) and I tagged on the music minor mainly because so much was invested into my music, I wasn't half-bad at it, and it would be a total waste if I didn't further my music education. Well, when I got to college, I guess I began living in the now so much that I lost sight of my dream. But then all of this talk about the calling made me think that, you know, just because I want it, that doesn't mean that God wants it for me. It's true that God tends to call people to lives that match their interests, but, I'm interested in music, too. In fact, that interest has grown since college started. I think I could live with music. So, it's totally up in the air. It's like I had my neat and tidy plans titled "My Life" all written out in one perfectly straight stack, and then the wind came, blowing all of them out of my hands and almost out of my reach. Many of them are getting dirty in the puddle. And my hair is wind-blown and there is that agitated look on my face that says, "great, now what." And I guess all of a sudden, this music idea comes up and says, "Hey, why don't you try me?"
"What, are you kidding me?"
"No. You know you like me."
"But what is there in music besides performing or teaching?"
"What's wrong with teaching? If you taught music, it may help you get into countries easier so you could do some of that missionary stuff you were talking about. And, you can get good money from it in the States."
"Yeah, whatever. I have, like, no patience."
"Besides, who said that you had to have a musical career? Just because something is your major, it doesn't mean you're signing a contract with that something."
"That's true."
"Lindsay, you know you love it."
"Well, I'm at least very fond of it. I don't know. I just don't know. Maybe I'll talk to Jessi about it and my advisor, Mr. B." Am I allowed to say, "Whatever!" ?
This story that my youth pastor told one time always comes back to when I think of this whole future thing. Apparently, there was this one girl who was supposed to be a missionary, as in, God told her to go somewhere. But her parents didn't let her and they made her stay home. And then she died. Yeah. I think it's a true story, but it's not like I should worry about something like this. Bugh! How in the world is one supposed to know what one's calling is! How am I supposed to know what I'm supposed to do! It's crazy. I would really appreciate a letter sent down by an angel that says, "To: Lindsay: It is my plan for you to do this, marry this guy, do this, and here's your job description. Peace out, girl. Sincerely, God." But instead, I have the chance to mess up this one life that's been allotted to me. Actually, I have a million chances to mess up this life.
Here's a quote I have taped to my wall: "God's will is . . . for us to make decisions." - Kyle Lake I can agree with that. I would really like to make that my motto. Cause the truth is, we don't have a plan to follow. Ugh, this is so confusing. God is there for us, right, and He will help us and give us peace at times. But He will let us make mistakes. I think that maybe, if we do our best to glorify Him with our lives, that He will take care of the rest. Right? I mean, God could use me as much on the mission field as in a biology lab or in an orchestra or something else.
I also think about a guy can make you change your mind about what you want to do. I want to be a lawyer but you want to carry on your family farm and I love you so I'll drop my dreams and go be your wife and live with you in the middle of Nowhere, Oklahoma. And who's to say if that's right or wrong. I suppose if one did hear a voice or get a letter from God saying to do this or that then it would be deliberate disobedience to go against that. I don't know. I guess we should just be flexible. So, a Communications major would be flexible. What about music? I do like it a lot.
Man, why am I even worrying about this, it's only my first year of college. Because I am preparing for the future, right, with all of the classes I'm taking.
Ok woah, I've been listening to the oldest Christian songs lately and would just happen to start playing? "God is in Control" by Twila Paris. I'm telling you, irony has been stalking me lately. Well, actually, I can't tell you. Anyways, let's listen to the song from ages ago... Hm... "There is one thing that has always been true. It will be true forever. God is in control. We believe that His children will not be forsaken..." That's about the only part that's really relevant here. Oh wait here we go: "He has never let you down, why start to worry now. Why start to worry now? He is still the Lord of all we see and He is still the Loving Father watching over you and me." Hm, ok, so I guess we make decisions that we believe will glorify God and He will be in control and He will take care of us. Is that right? Yeah, that song didn't really -speak- to me, but the title was a little reminder.
So, that is what I'm thinking right now, but don't worry, it's not what I think about all of the time. Oh certainly not. There's too much time for day dreaming to waste it on worrying. Lindsay, just turn on that Celtic music and chill out. Ok, I'll do that.
I'm not really that crazy. I don't often argue "aloud" with myself. I do tend to write really long blog entries, though. So, if you have taken the time to read this entry, please, please, please leave a comment and tell me what you think. (Besides, of course, something like, "Lindsay, you chica loca, what the heck are you talking about?)
So, that's about it. Well, that's all I'm going to write about right now.
Peace out,
Sincerely,
Lindsay
Sunday, April 8, 2007
Easter Weekend with Kimmy
Yes yes, Kimmy came home with me for Easter weekend and we have had on swell time! We got to enjoy Wesley's company for about half of the trip home and that was fun. On Friday, we had a blast at Six Flags! We rode The Georgia Scorcher, Goliath, The Batman, The Superman, The Mind Bender and the Dalonaga Mind Train. While we were waiting in lines, we made up stories by going around in a circle and adding a sentence. They got so crazy... We had one story where a unicorn named Sven turned into a byciclist but then was turned into a newt. (He eventually got better.) To eat: Turkey leg and pizza. Then we went to the Toby Mac concert!!! (We missed Thousand Foot Krutch, much to my dismay.) It was amazing! Soooo much fun! And I got to meet up with three of my buddies from high school there. It was great to see them.Saturday, Kim and I painted salvation bracelets on kid's wrists at my church's Easter egg hunt. I thought of Dr. Turner's love of this holiday on many occasions. Then we went to JC Penny's for my sister and Kim and I tried on some dresses for fun. When we got home, Kim, Taylor, and I went into the woods to take pictures with a tree that Kim and I had seen last time. And when we got ack tot he house, we had the best meal ever: Juicy steaks, perfect baked potatoes, and smooth and creamy strawberry mango milshakes. After dinner, we dyed Easter eggs. :)
Sunday, April 1, 2007
Disney
I just wanted to throw out that I think I'm going through a Disney phase... again? I'm certain that it comes from hanging out with Nathan and Wesley so much. That's pretty much what they base their lives on. But who doesn't? It's all good, Hakuna Matata. Some of my favorite movies: Pocahontas, Lion King, Aladdin, and all of the Disney/Pixar movies, especially The Incredibles, both Toy Story movies and Monsters Inc., but I haven't seen Cars, yet. Ah, and now I can count the Pirates and Narnia movies. I always liked The Sword in the Stone, and I've become more fond of Beauty and the Beast. Sleeping Beauty, Rescuers Down Under, The Jungle Book, Pinocchio, Robin Hood, Peter Pan, The Great Mouse Detctive, Newsies, Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey, 101 Dalmatians (animated and live-action), The Emporer's New Groove, Treasure Planet, Lilo and Stitch, Holes... OH MY GOODNESS! I was looking down the list and they're going to be making a Toy Story 3, due to be out 2010!!
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