Saturday, September 13, 2008
We have three instruments that we use when we're working the ovens at Little Caesars. The pizza cutter, the long spatula, and the pan grabber. Ramone decided it was time that I learned the real tricks of the trade and began to teach me how to flip and catch the pizza grabber first. After mastering this, we moved on to the long spatula. This one's really hard because the center of gravity of this spatula is not where you'd think it would be and you have to throw it away from you with quite a bit of force so that it won't fall on top of you. After mastering this, we moved on to the (dun Dun DUN!) Pizza Cutter! With it's razor sharp edges that quickly slice through the searing hot, yet delicious, pizzas leaving perfect lines through even the toughest of crusts! Sauce and cheese sticks to the blade as if it were blood. Will Lindsay attempt the dangerous feat?
"Well, I hope this doesn't cut me if I catch the blade..."
Ramone had to leave me unattended with the object of pain, but he and Noah could hear me later, "Aha! It doesn't cut me if I catch it by the blade!" They laughed. But after a few tries, I got it! I'm was so proud and so was Ramone. So, my last week or so, I became an official Little Caesars employee. I could flip the oven instruments, I can run those sheet outs like nobody's business when I use Freeman's method, I can pepperoni as fast as Noah, and I found time-saving short cuts with the sauce making!
You ever get those days?Next year, I will not commit to so many things at Bryan. At least, that's the plan...
On the plus side, um, well, Well I know that I have a lot to be thankful for. So much. So why even bother thinking about complaining? Good question. Then perhaps I should just get on with what I know I'm supposed to be doing - researching broadcasting. It's not like it's that hard to sit and watch volleyball games on my laptop, anyways. Is it "anyway "or "anyways?"
Anyways... You've probably noticed that I have this tendency to ramble on the internet.
Sometimes, I am unimpressed. That is a stupid thing to feel. I mean, I'm sometimes unimpressed by people, meaning that sometimes, certain people will leave me (or I'll leave them) feeling like eh-I-don't-want-to-hang-with-them-anymore. Because their behavior is very unattractive to me. And I know that people will grow up eventually, possibly,
Gah, I'm not going anywhere. Really, I'm just stalling. Instead of doing what I know I'm supposed to do even though I know it's not that bad (really, it's just the fact that I'm supposed to do it), I would rather lie in bed, listening to Techno. How unscholarly does that sound? Very. Very much.
Something of substance: Did you know that Lemon Pledge has more lemons in it than Old Time Lemonade? At least that's what the sheet on the back of the door of the Guest restroom in North's lounge says.
Really, I was on top of things a week and a half ago. Getting homework done like nobody's business. What is wrong with me now? Is my melancholy-ness really affecting me in this area of my life, too? Or am I just using that as an excuse because I'm feeling sorry for myself?
With my glasses on, a stylish-ish top, and a well-done messy bun, I feel like I should be flying though my assignment notebook. Maybe I need some tea. Yes, then the picture would be perfect. Orange Spice.
Whatever. I'm off to live my life. I hope it's a good one.
((Ha, Lindsay, snap out of your stupid, petty half-emo, half-successful-thirty-year-old-wondering-if-his-office-job-and-life-really-matters-at-all mood. I think it's the half-bun and glasses that are doing it to me. It takes me back to that picture of my five-story high artsy apartment with two roomates and a cat. On a gray day and few lights. That's the way I'm feeling inside. That's why I'm being lazy and pathetic.)) Obviously, I need to turn on some Relient K. And get that Orange Spice tea.
I'm only half-way sorrry for writing all of this stuff. It's only for me sometimes. I am sorry for using so many hyphens, though.
WooHoo! My, how music can change things, eh? You see, the first song of theirs that I let myself listen to is "Apathetic Way to Be"
"And the half of me's all about apathy. And the other half just doesn't care." That line makes me laugh.
And "Being apathetic's a pathetic way to be." Yep. That's what I needed, I think.
So, I will leave you with this madness and I will get to those broadcasting tapes. I mean, DVDs. I mean, a small bug, or rather, "Hopefully, we'll fix this in editing." (I wish Devon read my Xanga posts.)
Tata, friend slash acquaintance!
P.s. I just downloaded Firefox a day ago and I'm getting used to it. K, that's all.
P.s.s. I will not be offended in any way if you forget that you ever read this post of mine. The content is ... lacking, to quote Strongbad.
Now playing: Relient K - Those Words Are Not Enough
Now playing: Relient K - Apathetic Way to Be
Now playing: Eiffel 65 - Blue (Da Ba Dee)
God is real. God is big. Wow.
I don't know how to begin. I just had the most amazing talk about God. It was the most amazing because God was so incredibly real to this person. Truly, truly real. So real, of course you can have faith in Him. I cannot remember speaking so personally with someone who had such solid, unwavering trust in our God. I was amazed and I am different.
On my way out of the cafeteria after dinner, I saw Joanna Downing. I went to her and we had some chit chat. She began to talk of her new job with OM and about the journey getting there. She spoke of how it was the most difficult, the most stretching, and the most amazing journey she's ever had and she would never change it, even though it was so hard. She has grown so much closer to the Lord through this and she told me that God brought her closer to Him in these last 3 month than He did in her 4 years of college. I was already in awe at this point.
She told me of how God literally carried her though this difficult time. She told me that she grew so much in her faith in God and she prays that she will be as faithful, even more faithful the next time God brings her through a rough spot.
Her conversation turned to me when I commented on how I would love to have what she has. She said, "God will not withhold His face from you." If I look for Him, I will find Him. And when I've found Him, when I'm chasing after Him as I should, He will let everything fall into place. He will bring everything that is to come, and sometimes, without me even realizing it.
Her words assured me that God is so worthy of our faith because He won't betray it. Who else can make that claim? There is no other one who can look out for me as well as God can. There is no other who can look out for you as well as God can.
Joanna talked of chasing after God, of becoming a woman of God. "It is God's job to mold you into the woman He has made you to be. You can't do it. God can and will." You just need to relax and trust that God will do this. He says that He will. "He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it." God knows what's going on in your life. He knows your desires. He knows your struggles. He doesn't need to "get to know you," He already does. He knows you more intimately than you could imagine. "That's the coolest thing about Him," that He already knows you so well.
When Joanna said that, I really saw how real God was to Jo and how real He is. It was a very interesting feeling that is very hard to describe. I need better words than "cool" and "neat" and "wow." My mind stood back, looked at this, and said, "You're right." It was a realization. It was a whole lot bigger than my pathetic words are making it out to be. It was real. It was a real moment. It felt real. Like I'd found something. Like I'd uncovered some amazing buried treasure that I should have had all along. It's like I was looking at God through a dirty window and all of a sudden, the window was the most pristine, crystal clear glass to be found. That's what it was like! That is an accurate description of this feeling. It was way, way cool.
And Jo was talking to me and about me as if she knew me a whole lot better than she does. I was thinking, "How can you be talking of my desires and my struggles like this?" She was totally on the right page, though, and now I realize that it's because Christians in my boat have so many of the same desires and struggles. Our deepest desire is to know God. Jo saw this and spoke of it like no one ever had. She spoke directly into my heart like no one ever had. I felt vulnerable but completely safe. Her words were awesome. Her words were encouraging and they were such a challenge, but much more on the encouraging side.
She prayed with me, both of us standing in the cafeteria. I was amazed. She was right. I do want to chase after God. How awesome would it be if I could not care about what happened here? How awesome would it be if I could love God like I should? It sounds like such a tall order, but Joanna assured me that this is possible. Heck, this is what God wants for me, so of course it is possible. Wow.
When I walked outside, I met a cacophony of cicadas. I looked up and I thought of God being there. He was there. He was there with me. God! God was there with me? Hello, does that not sound awesome??? Our God, the almighty omnipotent Creator was walking beside me and working in my heart. I am in awe.
One of the last things Joanna told me before she prayed was that, hey, someday, He's coming back. Again, that had never been more real to me before. Everything she was saying was so real. Yes, the Lord does care that I have a deep relationship with Him. Yes, He cares about me that much. Yes, He is coming someday. Beauty. That is beautiful to me. I am in love. I want to fall deeper and faster.
I hope that you catch some of my heart. This is hard to convey, and I did my best, but I don't know if it's effective.
I am amazed by my Lord.
Shattered window, audio broadcasting, baseball jersies, and the need for a jewelry box
Welcome back to Bryan College!
This is my first post as a 20-year-old and my first post of my junior year. I feel like I should be old. All that just sounds old. I was telling my friend Wendy, it sounds like I should be living in a cool, artsy bachelorette pad that's 5 stories high with windows overlooking the busy city, three housemates, and maybe a cat. I'm glad I'm not there. I don't like cats as much as dog. So I would want a dog, but my housemates would insist on having a cat (because it fits the artsy theme. A Great Dane just wouldn't look right in this picture in my head.) And then my sister wouldn't be able to visit for very long, because we found out last year that she's allergic to cats. So I'm glad that I'm just at Bryan instead.
If you can't tell already, I will tell you now, this is going to be a very sporadic post, and I may seem ADD. As far as I know, I do not have ADD, but I do have many unrelated things that I want to relate to you. And so, this post will follow my air balloons of thought. No, not a train of thought, because trains stay on track, unless super villains are in town. Well, that's quite an introduction. I shall begin.
Yes, I am back at Bryan College which my same good ole roommate, Erin. One of the first things I can tell you about: Our window! Erin had our window open on Wednesday, and all was well, but when I went to open the blinds on Friday, the entire top inner pane of glass was intact, but completely shattered. We were so shocked and kind of freaked out, because it looked like our window was going to fall into a million pieces that would shower our floor (and bare feet) in any second. We suddenly remembered the dripping sounds we'd been hearing the last few days and we figured that the "dripping" was really cracking. Yikes. I called Maintenance and the woman on the phone sounded very worried. Maintenance man came over soon after this and he, too, was a bit shocked. He began to inspect the window. He touched the window. He pushed on the window. Pieces of the window fell out. There is now a hole in our window. Maintenance man said that they'd be able to fix it on Monday, but I've heard otherwise since he said that. They should be able to take out the broken window on Monday, but they might not be able to replace it for two weeks.
Erin scrounged around for some expendable blankets to tape around our window to catch any falling glass. Unfortunately, Duct tape is not as wonderful as it's supposed to be. When I came back to my room the next day, I saw cardboard securely taped all around the lower half of our window with these words written in Sharpie on the cardboard: "Do Not Touch Cardboard Or Blinds! Thanks!" (It was all in caps, but I didn't want you to think I was being rude by typing it that way here.) So! That's how our junior year has begun!
New year means new freshmen. There are very, very many, and I feel more distant from them than I did last year. I don't like that. There are less new freshmen than there were last year, but I still felt overwhelmed by their numbers when we were all waiting for dinner on the practice fields. I felt scarily alone and friendless, surrounded by people I didn't know. Molly found me and I felt much safer. I confided in her about how I feel like how can I possibly meet all of these people, let alone befriend some of them? This makes me appreciate people like Joey. This guy, as our paths were crossing, verbally leaps out and introduces himself, "Hi! I'm Joey!"
"Hi, I'm Lindsay."
"Nice to meet you."
"Yeah, where are you from?" And we continued to talk for a few minutes as if we'd known each other for a week, instead of 5 seconds. I felt much more at ease after meeting Joey. Don't know if we'll be friends or even if our friend circles will mix, but I thought that this was very cool. Joey reminds me of myself my freshman year. Really, I did what he did a lot. And it was fun. I'm sure I looked stupid, in fact, I know I did because I remember one of the soccer guys giving me this you're-really-weird look when I asked his name. Haha. But look where I am now! My, my. I like looking back and seeing how my manner has changed to suit the situations and how it has changed permanently for the better. Gosh, it's almost like I'm growing up or something.
By the way, my computer is behaving fine-ish. It has been getting a little slower, and the interent connection is not fantastic here, but I believe that there is no "malicious software" "[infesting] the hard drive and memory."
I was challenged and intrigued by a huge spill of honesty I read on facebook today. While I don't always think that facebook or even internet blogs are the best place to share such things, it still put a seed of something in me. The something says that I cannot retreat into myself when I have things that make my mind spin. When I am dissolving to emotion, keeping everything inside doesn't do good for anybody, as much as I'd like to think it does. I'd like to think that I am keeping myself safe. Safe from embarrassment, shame, being vulnerable, hurt and betrayed trust. Isn't it great this trust thing? We each have good, close friends that we can trust with hard things. I may not always want to trust my friend, but it would be good to risk my reputation, my security, my comfort for a few reasons, no?
1- I get to talk about it! Dr. Rose says that venting isn't the best way to deal with a problem, and it really only gives you relief for a while, but I always feel so much better after I've let someone help me bear my burdens.
2- This is an opportunity to build trust in friendships. If there were never any risk, how would the friendship grow and deepen? The friend usually holds up their side of the friendship and rarely is that trust ever broken.
3- The listener gets to help! I feel good about myself about my friendship with a certain person when I'm able to help them, even if it's just by listening. I know a guy who would say, "Let me bless you." I don't always want to let someone help me, but by keeping this opportunity away from them, I am robbing them of a possible blessing. I know that this reason will never, never go through my head when I'm bent up about something, but it's something for you to consider now, eh?
I hope that I'll be able to remember this when I need it. Keeping things in = harmful. Sharing with a trusted friend = Much better.
Because of a recommendation from Christian Davis, I've checked out some Sufjan Stevens. Here's my favorite song I've heard of his. I really, really like the way it sounds. The banjo is great. No, I don't even know what all the lyrics say. Here's the link! Check it out. I hope you like it. I'm also giving you my second favorite.
In this one, the banjo again is great and so is the guitar.
After doing a bit of Wikipedia research, I've found that this is the fellow who's working on writing an album for all of the 50 states. I've heard about him, but I just never that is was this guy. Nifty.
I know that I mentioned it this summer, but I want to mention again how wonderful it's been this summer becoming better friends with my wonderful sister, Taylor. We never believed people when they told us we'd be friends when we got older, but, hey, they were right. I'm glad of it. I am now more often able to see her as the sweet treasure she is. This summer, we had an incredible argument where I kept my head and Taylor was terribly frustrated. Emotions stayed more or less under control and there was no physical action. A few minutes after our fight was finished, we both apologized and it was good. It was Good! That was our best fight ever! How great! This is such a blessing from God. Thank you, God, so much. And I know that Taylor recognizes and appreciates this, too. Honestly, I think that Kate and Alice have had a lot to do with this. We both connect with Alice, and neither of us really connected with Kate. So I'm glad that they've come, but for many other reasons as well. Alice is back, by the way, after having her summer with her family in South Korea. My family's so glad to have her back.
So, this semester's looking really different from my previous ones, besides still having Erin as my roommate. I'm still on SGA, but Junior SGA has a lot more responsibility because of Jr/Sr. Instead of playing JV volleyball, I'm going to be doing the audio broadcasting for the Varsity team! I'm very excited about that, but I have no idea about what to say into that microphone.
I'm separated from the girls I said I'd always be on the same hall with. Millie and Molly are only one hall up, and I'm really hoping that this doesn't kill us or even beat us up some, but it's going to take a lot of effort on my part to make sure that this doesn't happen. Thankfully, I have a lot of people who will help me keep this from happening. And there's always chapel seats!
My best friends aren't here this year, and it's really weird even now. Nathan is at grad school (way to go, buddy!) and already I've thought, "When will I get to see Nathan today? Oh wait. Drat, he's not here." I love sharing cool things I come across, funny new inside jokes, and just what's going on in my day with him, and I'm used to being able to share these things face-to-face when I'm at Bryan. Thank God for txting and email! By the way, I want you to know that I am incessantly proud of Nathan and that I'm very glad for him to have this amazing opportunity. Hooray!
Devon. She is a huge part of our group, and all of the guts feel the hole she's left. She's such a great connector of so many great people. I know that I wouldn't have gotten to know Elizabeth, Audrey Ann, or Katie a much as I did last year if it weren't here. Again, this is no reason to be sad. I suppose this could be another challenge to me and to anyone else at Bryan who wants to join me to keep up with these friendships and to make them stronger. Devon made this easier, but we'll just have to work a bit harder to keep this up.
I brought less stuff with me to college this time, and I'm enjoying the bit of extra space. Erin's gone home this weekend, though, and she's going to be bringing more stuff back with her. I'm sure we won't be crammed. We weren't last year. It sure is fun to tease her about all of her stuff. She replies, "I just want to be prepared for everything." True, her tool bag has come in handy many times for the both of us. And the rice cooker. Jasmine rice is amazing. It's the only kind Erin will eat. She was born in Thailand, and her parents cook lots of Thai food, so they know their rice. And! Erin has a boyfriend! Her first one! I'm so happy. I'm sure that her pickings on me will diminish if not cease.
I can't think of much else to write right now.