My chosen resources for pregnancy

If you follow me on Instagram, you've likely seen me talk a bit about being surprised by pregnancy, which was only outdone by being surprised by twins. TL;DR I'm carrying twins who will probably arrive in August, and no, twins do not run in the family. We don't know the sex of our kiddos yet, because why not get one more surprise, right?

I thought it would be at least another year before I became a mom, and being flung into the pregnancy process and preparation has been a whirlwind with almost every negative emotion you could think of. I may talk more about my emotional atmosphere of this pregnancy later, because mine is a story I haven't heard before, but today we'll stick with the practical things.

These resources below have been a huge help so far. I'm no mommy blogger, meaning, I'm new to this and there are tons of more practiced voices on this subject, but the value I've gotten from these things has been great. Maybe they'll be great for some readers, too.

Books

• Mindful Birthing by Nancy Bardacke  : This is the first place where my fear and trepidation around delivering was calmed. I can't believe how different my perspective is since reading this book. Terror has turned to empowerment, and Mindful Birthing is the reason why I am eager to have a vaginal, unmedicated birth and the reason why I think I'd be a total badass at it.
• Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin  : Similar to Mindful Birthing, this book portrays a completely different perspective on birth than the usual. Ina May is an OG midwife who's seen it all and who shares her wisdom and encouragement. She taught me to trust my body to do what it knows to do in birthing. This book has the power to completely change America's prenatal and maternity care.  The first part shares birth stories (no twins, though), and the second part talks about childbirth, what it's like, how to make things more comfortable, etc.
• Expecting Better by Emily Oster  :  I hate being told what to do anyway, but when someone's telling me what to do with my body, they better have a good reason. That's where Expecting Better came in. Emily Oster analyzes the data behind colloquial and medical pregnancy advice and then empowers you to make decisions for yourself on things like drinking alcohol, eating tuna, epidurals, and vitamin K shots.
• Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman  :  This delightful book on French parenting was the first parenting book I read and has informed a good deal about what I want to bring to my family. I took many notes about "the pause," French sleep training, and creating freedom within boundaries. Here's a good recap of the book if you'd like to take a look.
• Cribsheet by Emily Oster  : Emily Oster's second book digs into the research again, but this time with how parenting choices impact kids in the short-term and long-term. (It's also funny.)

Tangible Things

• Hypnobabies classes  :  A friend of mine recommended a hypnobabies birthing class, and I'd remembered Rubyellen from Cakies sharing how her hypnobirthing classes were amazing for her. I decided to try it. The self-induced hypnosis used in this method has been used as anesthesia substitute for surgery patients, and using the same technique for birth seems to be a great path toward a comfortable, even pleasurable birth. I'm looking forward to trying it in real life!
• Yoga and my studio  : The teachers and students at my yoga studio have been a huge encouragement. Many days I've not wanted to get out of bed because my body felt so blah. Showing up to the mat and being welcomed by smiling faces who encourage me at every turn has kept wind in my sails.
• An OB I agree with  : Not-fun fact : pregnancies with multiples (twins or more) are automatically considered high risk in the medical field. There are more opportunities for complications, including emergency c-section, which leads to a lot more hovering of care providers and being required to deliver in the operating room, just in case. I see the reasoning behind these measures, but I also see room for more flexibility in some areas. In my 5th month, I found and switched to an OB who I better align with. I'll still have to birth in the OR, but he's happy to make a lot more accommodations than the usual doctor, as long as things are going well. He's also less trigger happy with c-sections, and I believe he's my best bet for a vaginal twin birth in Atlanta. Having him on the team, I feel so much more comfortable and relieved.
• Maternity clothes  :  
• For early on, the ponytail holder trick will allow you to wear your pants for longer.
• Bra extenders were a great investment.  Amazon sells small packs of them.
• There are tons of maternity clothes options out there, and I'd like to add  the Storq leggings and dress to the list of the good ones. (The bra, tunic, and pencil skirt I wasn't as big a fan of.)
• Being pregnant during Georgia summers with a huge belly compelled me to stock up on long flowy dresses.  I have this, this, and this one.  (This is one area where I let my eco-conscious goals fall into second place in favor of cost and convenience.)
• Another huge recommendation : secondhand clothing!
• Lastly, as a small effort intrying to keep my wardrobe sustainable, I try to find stuff I'd feel comfortable wearing after birth, too, like long tanks or flowy dresses. I wish myself luck in getting through this without having to drop too much cash and without having to look frumpy.   (See my Pinterest board of actually cute maternity clothes.) 
• Other  :  While I'm not sure how these things will impact my birthing yet, I regular do these things that were recommended to me both by a close friend and my hypnobabies instructor.
• Drink red raspberry leaf tea : This tea supports uterine health both pre- and post-birth.
• Lots of squats and/or wall sits : This strengthens pushing muscles.
• Perineal massage : This helps stretch the body for the kid's way out.
• Hiring a doula : This helps cultivate a calm, respectful, and iterative environment for birthing.

Twin-Specific Things

• (Book) What to Do When You're Having Two by Natalie Diaz  :  Finally, a book for twin moms that isn't lame, that talks about the important stuff, and that gives me the information I actually need!  Diaz is very by the book (I'm not), but she also shares a lot of useful information and tips that I'd never thought of before.
• (Online community & blog) Twiniversity  : Everything here is twin-specific and was founded by Natalie Diaz, author of the book I described above.  They have online forums, a so-so podcast, and kind of helpful blog posts, all created by and for parents of twins.
• (Online community & blog) Lucy's List  :  Lucy's List has a mom-of-multiples (MOM) email drip campaign that has been helpful and informative.  Here's their Twin page.  I also love their huge spreadsheet of twin-specific nursery recommendations.  This spreadsheet is intense, and it took me weeks to go through everything, but a lot of my nursery and gear decisions were informed by this sheet.
• (Podcast episodes)  :  Here are some twin-related episodes of The Birth Hour podcast I found empowering and encouraging.
  
• Delivering a breeched Baby A  :  This mama did an incredible job of advocating for herself against the hospital team that pressured her to get a C-Section
• Birth center twin birth
• Other twin birth stories I haven't gotten to yet

Other

• The transformation of a woman to a mother  :  TED Talk on this second "adolescence" for women
• The Birth Hour  :  A positive podcast where women tell their birth stories 
• The Double Shift  :  a reported, narrative podcast about a new generation of working mothers.
• Baby Weight : The heavy truth of motherhood  :  Article on Medium on the burden motherhood places on women
• Facebook groups  :  Good place to find lightly used gear, play groups, and encouragement
• Daddy Up  : This is the least lame pregnancy tracking app I've found on Android. It's geared toward Dad and is minimal, but still fun. I checked The Bump and What to Expect's websites for weekly updates, but all the other pregnancy apps weren't my style.
• Nordic Nursery Vision Board  :  Minimalist, gender-neutral nursery and gear inspiration
• "God Our Mother"  :  A beautiful poem that elevates motherhood and reveals it as a reflection of the Divine

Have you read any of these books? Have you at one time been terrified of pregnancy or birth?  Comment below with your thoughts, I'd love to hear!

God Our Mother

still from The Shack, via

I didn't grow up viewing the feminine facets of God as legitimate, real, or orthodox.  When I listened to the Liturgist podcast episode called "God Our Mother," much of it made me uncomfortable.

And then they read this poem.

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Allison Woodward’s poem was written for The Liturgists podcast, God Our Mother.

To be a Mother is to suffer;
To travail in the dark,
stretched and torn,
exposed in half-naked humiliation,
subjected to indignities
for the sake of new life.

To be a Mother is to say,
“This is my body, broken for you,”
And, in the next instant, in response to the created’s primal hunger,
“This is my body, take and eat.”

To be a Mother is to self-empty,
To neither slumber nor sleep,
so attuned You are to cries in the night—
Offering the comfort of Yourself,
and assurances of “I’m here.”

To be a Mother is to weep
over the fighting and exclusions and wounds
your children inflict on one another;
To long for reconciliation and brotherly love
and—when all is said and done—
To gather all parties, the offender and the offended,
into the folds of your embrace
and to whisper in their ears
that they are Beloved.

To be a Mother is to be vulnerable—
To be misunderstood,
Railed against,
Blamed
For the heartaches of the bewildered children
who don’t know where else to cast
the angst they feel
over their own existence
in this perplexing universe

To be a Mother is to hoist onto your hips those on whom your image is imprinted,
bearing the burden of their weight,
rejoicing in their returned affection,
delighting in their wonder,
bleeding in the presence of their pain.

To be a Mother is to be accused of sentimentality one moment,
And injustice the next.
To be the Receiver of endless demands,
Absorber of perpetual complaints,
Reckoner of bottomless needs.

To be a Mother is to be an artist;
A keeper of memories past,
Weaver of stories untold,
Visionary of lives looming ahead.

To be a Mother is to be the first voice listened to,
And the first disregarded;
To be a Mender of broken creations,
And Comforter of the distraught children
whose hands wrought them.

To be a Mother is to be a Touchstone
and the Source,
Bestower of names,
Influencer of identities;
Life giver,
Life shaper,
Empath,
Healer,
and
Original Love.


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You might also like:

• My curated Google doc with research and references of God as feminine and God as mother
• My blog post with faith deconstruction resources

Recommended with the Hollow Knight soundtrack

Fun blog fact: this is the 65th "Recommended" post I've published!  For those of you who've been with me for a long time, for years, thank you for sticking with me through my shifts and changes.  It's an awkward question when someone asks "what do you blog about" because "well, it's just personal... about my life and things."  I've started writing more about deeper things in the last couple years, but it's still easy to dismiss my work.  Thank you for reading and being here with me.

Today I wanted to introduce you to some of my new favorite peaceful music.  Last fall, Caleb bought the game Hollow Knight for us, and we immediately fell in love.  The game is enchanting, bringing mystery and mission together for a thrilling ride.  The visual design of the beautiful settings is matched by the lovely music, and I have to share these two pieces with you.

"Greenpath" is the music for the most delightful area in the game filled with lush, green flora, plants with teeth, and adorable monsters who kill you.  "Reflection" plays in the rooms where you're able to rest away from monsters and adjust your weapon charms.  I have played these 2 songs on loop for probably over an hour by now, just because they're so beautiful and peaceful.  I hope you like them, too!

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Nifty things

Have a 10x15' space, 5 minutes, and wifi?  That's all you need to run an on-demand book printing machine!  The Espresso Book Machine is a consumption and resource game changer!

Screen printed tees with empowering messages printed on thrifted pieces?  Yes.

Have you seen the most remote Airbnb on the planet? You could spend the night with a nomadic Dhukha family and herd reindeer with them in northern Mongolia!

Do you like meat charcuterie boards?  I like charcuterie boards forever and always.  Binging with Babish, one of Caleb's favorite youtube channels, put out a video with all the info you need to pull together a beautiful platter of meat, cheese, and more.  I'm drooling over here!

This is a Twitter thread of two litters of farm puppies meeting each other.  Enjoy.

Social issues 

Victoria Secret is losing its sheen, which I'm very happy about.  Check out The Hustle's report on its plummeting stock (which I can't help but be happy about).  "Reports show that women’s perception of the iconic lingerie brand has been declining since 2013, as more women have shifted toward female empowerment instead of hypersexualization.  You mean Kendall Jenner strutting the runway in an aqua lace corset doesn’t scream women’s empowerment and inclusion??"

And Scottish doctors are now prescribing new treatments for people with chronic health issues.  What do you think?

Two big things in women's issues!  US abortions are at their lowest since Roe v. Wade and one way the #MeToo movement is hurting women

Art and science

The very fancy Arabic script is called Tuluth.  I learned about it here.  Check out this wild 3D calligrafitti in Cairo that uses Tuluth.

You may know, but I've been in love with the minimalist design of Japanese and Scandinavian interiors.  For the last few years I've used those terms to describe my ideal aesthetic, home, and  holiday decorations.  Just last month, I've learned that there's an actual word for this combination!  Japandi!

DNA uncovers that a famous viking warrior was a lady!  Science is cool.

These guys danging.  I love it.

How I stay so organized

image by STIL classics via Unsplash

A few times now, coworkers have asked me, "Lindsay, how do you stay so organized?"  Cutting to the chase (because that's what organized people do), here is a teaser summary my tips, tools, and treasures for staying "hashtag on top of it" (which I often say out loud).  To see the whole article, check out the story on Medium and join the conversation there!

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#1 Take notes
Write notes all the time.  Compile and allocate later.

#2 Keep lists
Use master lists to track your projects and progress.  Trello is highly recommended.

#3 Maintain your calendar
Schedule your tasks, use separate calendars for separate categories, and set reminders.

#4 Keep stuff minimal
Declutter your tasks to stay focused.  Make Inbox Zero a goal, keep your desk tidy, and toss tasks as needed. 

#5 Collaborate
Share your lists and calendars with others so they can share with you.

#6 Bonus : super admin tools
See some extra tidbits that have been helpful in my role as an executive assistant by trade.

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Again, hop on over to Medium here to catch the full low down and share your thoughts.  Looking forward to having you contribute to the discussion!