2017 Reflection and 2018 Projection

I can't help but laugh and roll my eyes when I think of my post from last year.  "Girl, you had no idea what was coming.  Daily yoga in 2017?  Give me a break."

I've shared much more of my personal life here than usual here so I won't rehash the details, but here are the highlights and lowlights of 2017.

• relationships & my emotional, mental life
• Getting right into it, Caleb and I experienced danger zone fights this spring and summer.  I was very frightened and found myself contemplating divorce, which I swore I'd never do.  Some pastors from our church stepped in when we were having our membership interview and told us that, if we were to join the church, we'd have to go to couples counseling.  It was obvious we needed it, they said, and I agreed.  I'd wanted us to get real help for years, and I was so thankful and relieved when Caleb finally agreed.  We've been meeting with an elder from church since May now, and it's making the biggest and best difference.  We've made a complete 180, and I am so incredibly thankful for this change.  It makes all the crap that came with this year (keep reading!) worth the fight.
• Caleb and I have met some other couples that we're becoming for-real friends with!  Real life people who want to hang out with us!  We're both really excited to see where these friendships go, and we're so glad we're not as weird as we worried we were.
• I'm pretty sure it's not because I'm getting older and more aware, I'm pretty sure politics have just sucked more than usual.  At least I'm more engaged than before, but for the record, I find our president to be an embarrassment, so much so that I wrote an amendment to my hopeful perspective from last November.
• spiritual life
• Well, everything I held as solid truth got torn down this spring and has had to be rebuilt.  What I have now does not look the same as what I had before.  I'm something of an agnostic Christian, and I'm not even sure if I'm Protestant at the moment, let alone reformed.  You can read more about my journey here and more about my fluid theology here.
• My small group got two new young ladies on board, so now we are 4.  They're all in the final year at GA Tech, and they're all eager to grow and learn and love.  They've been an amazing encouragement and source of accountability and challenge this year, and they've been great, loving support through the crazy.
•  other big things
• Caleb got in an accident on his motorcycle in April.  Thankfully he was okay, but it made the bike unrideable.  
• We got to take our first for-real vacation without family since our honeymoon this May!  We spent a week in Tokyo then a week in Korea (Seoul and Chuncheon).  It was an epic culinary adventure, with plenty of beautiful nature walks and we're still starstruck when we remember our time there.
• Caleb was let go his first day back from vacation.  (A poorly founded decision, if you ask me.)
• My company closed down and let me go in August.
• I freaked out hard core a weekend later.  (I wrote this about a while afterward.)
• Caleb got a new job in August two weeks after my freak out!
• Then in November, he got fired again and found out on his birthday.  (Same thoughts from me as before, but this was even worse considering I'd hardly seen him all November because he was putting in so many hours that entire month.)
• What.  The heck.  I mean, at least the motorcycle got fixed in September, but give us a break, right?
• I started working at a local outdoor outfitter to help out with bills, and we picked up dog boarding in our home, as well.  (This pup was my favorite.)
• Finally, right before Christmas, I landed a job at Pivotal Labs as a Sr. Admin Assistant.  I can't tell you how relieved and excited I've been.  The official acceptance just happened today, but when I was first extended the offer, I ugly cried for a solid minute after hanging up the phone.  I'm so glad I get to work in the tech industry again, I'm so glad it's in a role where I can do a great job but that also has room to grow, and I'm so glad that the people I'll be working with are good, kind, and fun folks.  I'd say this job has been worth waiting for.
• Caleb's going to be taking some time off to work on an entrepreneurial project.  Turns out we have the financial stability thanks to some investments, and we're going to be okay after all!
• health & nutrition
• I ate Whole30 with my friends in April, and it was a game changer for my general diet.  I only lasted 21 days, but after the cleanse, I was amazed when my body felt like lead when I ate only a few squares of chocolate.  I'm much more aware of what I feed my body now and how it affects me.
• I started making bone broth from scratch, which I like drinking just for kicks.
• No one at work believes I'm 29.  Turns out moisturizer and sunscreen (and good genes, I'm sure) make a big difference.
• Caleb and I started weight lifting together at home!  I dislike it sometimes, but the muscle definition I've started to see makes me want to keep going.  I'm really excited to build strength!  I've never done this before, and realizing I could actually be a strong girl is motivating!
• hobbies & interests
• I started foraging!  It's the coolest thing about me right now, and it makes the folks at the outfitter shop think I'm legit.
• I watched the CNN documentary series on the '60s, '70s, and the '80s, the last of which sparked my interest in the AIDS crisis and its effects on the gay population.  This section of history only took up a quarter of a page in my textbooks growing up, and I can't believe how much is left unsaid.  As further research, I read this heartbreaking thread from folks who lived during the time.  I watched And the Band Played On (YouTube),  It's My Party (YouTube), and Dallas Buyers Club along with some other documentaries available on YouTube.  I can't believe I never knew about this.  I can't believe such a large percentage of the gay minority was wiped out.  The horrors of the new and deadly disease unchecked, the fearful and prejudiced national response, and the flat-footedness of the medical industry...  It was hell.  One comment from Reddit stuck with me - we would have had gay marriage legalized much earlier had those gay men who died in the '80s been around to fight for it.  
• I baked a lot more this year, and I'd like to pick up cheesecake as a real hobby.  I just need some smaller springform pans so my experiments won't have to be 2" thick and 12" in diameter.
• Stranger Things.  Stranger Things 2.  The Crown.  Keanu.  Pitch Perfect.  Pitch Perfect 2.  Avatar: The Last Airbender (again).  Silicon Valley.  And who knew Thor Ragnarok would be that enjoyable?
• We really like raw oysters now, and we've been keeping track of all the kinds we've tried.
• This is my year of podcasts.  Serial.  The Liturgists.  Hashtag Authentic.  The Deconstructionist Podcast.  The Free Sex Podcast.  This American Life.  Revisionist History.

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I'm hesitant to set any goals or share any dreams fo 2018, because I know how quickly and unexpectedly plans can fall apart.  I hope for a smooth transition at my new job in two weeks.  I hope Caleb enjoys and grows through his project.  I hope both of us continue to place our value outside of each other and that we keep all of our priorities where they should be.  I'd love to have some more spiritual answers, but I'm not expecting them.

I hope we get to have another relaxing vacation.  It'd be great to do something special for our 5-year anniversary this year.  I hope to visit my BFF Millie and her family in Oregon.  I'd like to fix up our poor car so it won't rattle and so the mechanic won't ask me if I got it for free anymore.  I'd like to get a bed frame and new mattress, and I'd like to filter more quality pieces into my wardrobe.

Whatever this new year brings, I know it will push me to grow.  Hopefully, it will push me to soften rather than harden.  And hopefully it won't catch me too off guard.