Monday, May 9, 2011

My last day of work

I was getting ready to leave work for the last time last Thursday when Dana came to take my spot at the register .  She said, "You didn't tell me you were leaving," then she added under her breath, as if we were all trying to break out of this prison, "found somethin' better?"
"Well, I'm going to Korea," I answered, hoping this sounded like something better.
"Woah.  That's extreme."
"Um, yeah.  That's just how I roll."


I have worked at this office supplies store during the breaks of 3 years. I've gone from cashier to inventory to a little bit of the copy and print department, then back through the positions again.  Many customers have given me their business cards while they've been in to get more printed, to get flyers made, or just to promote this book they're selling.  I've talked with some interesting business owners over the years, but this last one takes the cake, the pie, and the ice cream.

This adorable elderly gentleman with navy coveralls, an old trucker cap, and dark aviators handed this card to me as he left, "in case you need a second job.  It comes with checks."

I have no idea how he thinks I'd be able to help out, but I'm not sure I want to know.

I pulled the card out of my pocket to read it during a slow period at work.  I collapsed onto the counter in laughter and knew that this would make a good story.  What's wild?  It gets better.

After work, I headed directly to Dayton, Tennessee, to see some of those college friends of mine before they graduated.  We convoyed to Knoxville for the Thor premiere and got there plenty early so we'd get good seats.  With hours of wait time, I figured it'd be fun to pass around this business card.  My friends stared and asked questions in turn, but I didn't expect to look down the aisle and see Elise on the phone.  I climbed over the theater seats to her just in time to hear her start leaving a message:

"Hello, this is Savannah Cunningham, and I have this here business card for an Ernest R. Soto.  Now, I was wondering if you could help me out with a couple things.  I'd like to get a chastity belt... I don't think I need any uprisings quelled, but I would like to get some of those possum dinners to go, and...  what?  Oh, hello.  ...Oh-okay.  Um, yes, okay, check your books.  All-all right, I understand.  Okay, sir.  Good bye."

I was dying in a fit of giggles, the conversation was getting better and better, but I was all ears when she hung up the phone.  She told her enraptured audience that Ernest had picked up the other line midway and started to tell her he'd have to look in his schedule.  He was pretty booked up, and this was a tall order she was listing off.

I told them that I'd had no reason to believe that this man wasn't completely serious when he'd given me his card.  We all sure beleived him now.


  1. Oh Ernest...lol
    I do hope you will be able to blog in Korea! Praying for you Lindsay! Such an awesome adventure!

  2. I would love to get a tiger tamed for my rehearsal dinner. I'm glad I finally know where to go!

  3. That is definitely one of the most interesting business cards I've ever seen.

    Hope Korea is great!

  4. I think I would like to become Ernest D. Soto when I grow up.


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