Konglish Makes Me Smile.

Back in November, I volunteered for a 10k that Mannam International put on to raise awareness and funds for the global disasters going on at the time.  Near the end, I was helping with the wrap up after the runners had set up.  Some of the Korean girls I was working with asked if I would please write a message of hope to send to America as they finished cleaning up hurricane damages.  I was honored to be entrusted with such a task, but looking back I think maybe I was taking it too seriously.  Regardless, I took a long time to settle on what I wanted America to know and to hear from us here in Korea.

The girls noticed how I was waiting and waiting and waiting for just the right inspiration.  They started to comment, and they started looking for the best words to describe what they thought about the situation.  Ah, they found it.

"You are very... thinkable," they said.

Cajun Food in Korea

My brother Conrad has recently started writing for the new Soeul magazine, The Bridge Paperzine. At the opening party, he won a voucher for a new restaurant in town. Unfortunately for Him, he'd be leaving the country before he'd have time to get around to use it, but this meant he had to give it away to someone who Would use it. When he handed it to me, he pointed out that the valid dates were during Caleb's visit. He smiled and told us to have a good time.

This is how Caleb and I found ourselves noshing on ₩50,000 of food
at The Boiling Crab in Bangbae.

I hadn't called ahead, and, even though I looked over all the information on my ticket many times, I was a little nervous that the voucher wouldn't work. We ordered the ₩40,000 seafood combo pot which the voucher was to cover, and we added coconut fried shrimp because #1- we both love shrimp and #2- if we were sunk and had to pay out of pocket, we might as well make it extra worth it.

I'll remove the suspense and tell you that the voucher did work and we only had to pay for the shrimp. Good thing, too, because there was enough suspense in the meal itself.

I'm told that The Boiling Crab is an American chain, but I've never seen one before. Also, while I've hug around Savannah, GA and have had my small share of low country boil, I'd never seen seafood brought to the table in a plastic bag before. After laying down paper and giving us each a plastic glove, a waiter brought out this bag filled with clams, mussels, shrimp, small conchs and sausages and cut it open so that it spilled out with its delicious red juices and spices. There was also a side of similarly spiced potatoes. Everything was so scrumptious, but we should have brought another person along if we'd wanted to eat everything. The manager had even come over and told us hat they had run out of the corn cobs they usually put into the combo, and would we accept more sausage instead? We told them that we wouldn't have been able to eat either because we were so full, but thank you.

The seafood combo seasoning was the perfect amount of greasiness to taste decadent and to help me through the bit of spiciness. I learned that I don't care for these small conchs, but there was more than enough succulent shrimp, soft mussels, and yummy clams to satisfy. The coconut shrimp were crunchy and tender and every bit of light, sweet and meaty. I'm pretty sure they're going to be in heaven. (Actually, I'm starting to think there's going to be a lot of coconut in heaven.)

This is one of the conchs that were more tough and chewy than I like my food.

It gets better. The staff was fabulous. Caleb noticed a distinct change in their behavior when I took out my camera and starting snapping pictures, And he thinks they got nervous at the prospect of having a reporter at their restaurant. I didn't notice any of this, but I appreciated how waited on us and how they didn't laugh at me when I asked how I was supposed to eat the conch. Also, and please don't take this to sound bratty, but the staff's good English helped me feel comfortable there, too. I knew I could ask questions and that I could let them know if we wanted more napkins without looking foolish.

And then the whole thing was about $8! Can't beat that!
The restaurant's a short way away from any subway stop, but there are some buses that go nearby, and I'd say it definitely worth the extra effort to get there. I'd go again with some friends and hungry bellies do we'd be able to eat as much as we could of all this tastiness.

---------------------------------------------

The Boiling Crab
777-6 Bangbae-dong, Seocho-gu, // 63-5 Itaewon-dong, Yongsan-gu, Seoul, South Korea 
(010) 3357.5889

P.s. If you go to the Bangbae location, I recommend taking the bus there, unless you want to cab it, because the nearest subway station isn't very near.  If you do take the bus, Bus 4318 can drop you off at 정금마을앞.  From that station, keep an eye out for this Deli Beans coffee shop on a corner and take that street in until you hit another large-ish street with restaurants and bars and you should be right close.

What They Call Me In Preschool

We started reading about different animals every two weeks for the science portion of my preschool class.  A while back, we were going through the Fox book for the first time.  We were just reading it as usual, but Judy kept on stopping to "aww" over the pictures.

"Oh, cute!  Teacher, fox is cute!"
"Yes, Judy, the fox is cute, but we need to read the book right now.  Please turn the page."

"Gasp!  Cute!  Cute!  This fox cute, too!"

We weren't getting very far, and Judy was starting to influence the other girls in the class.  By the fifth page into the book, they had all dissolved into fawning, and I had escalated to frustrated.  Just when I was about to lay down the strong teacher voice, Judy made this comment.

"Teacher is cute.  ...Teacher is fox!"

Not gonna lie, I turned on her.

"Judy!  I am not a fox!"

"Yes!  Teacher is fox!"

She and the others were all smiles.
"Oh really?  So I have red fur?"  I rubbed my arms to bring attention that I do not have red fur.
"Yes! Fox Teacher!"

Their defiant happiness in the face of my sternness started to convince me to at least let them have their fun.

"And I have tall, pointy ears?"  I made triangle shapes over my head.
"Yes, yes! Teacher is fox!"
By this point, the children were in one of their wild manias.  They were the embodiment of unbridled glee.  There would be no reasoning with them.

"And I have... a tail?"

"YES!!  YES!!  YES!!  TEACHER IS FOX!!" they screamed as I turned around looking for my tail.

And so it happened.  I've been quite surprised to see how it's stuck ever since the first day.  During our "How are you's," they will often ask, "How are you today, Fox Teacher?"  And, when I come in for the morning, they will smile and say, "Fox Teacher!"  They've even gone so far as to say, "Your Korean name is Lindsay Teacher.  Your English name is Fox Teacher."  Whatever that means...

So far, no one's brought up the legend of the kumiho (구미호) which is the nine-tailed fox shape shifting girl who seduces men and eats their hearts.  In fact, I'm going to assume that my students haven't yet been introduced to any of the personality traits associated with foxes worldwide.  Right now, to them, foxes are just cute and they give stickers for good reading.

Upcoming

I've been a little distracted the last week, and, while I meant to get back to writing sooner, it's not happening till now.  It's happening in the form of a teaser post, no less!

As I get back into the groove of things after Caleb, my boyfriend, returned to the States, you can expect these stories to pop up.

• Being locked out of my apartment for the night
• Trying Cajun food in Korea
• A run down of what Caleb and I were up to while he was in town
• Tutoring in Korea: why it's illegal and how I got involved
• A new nickname from my preschool students

They're good stories, I promise, and they'll be coming out soon!

(Sometimes it's hard to adjust back to regular life when the break was so darn good looking.)

A Few Pieces On Gender Roles To Get Me Thinking

I'm fascinated with the ideas of gender roles.

I think it would take a long time to explain everything that goes into why, but an overview would include a long held prejudice against girls, a long and ugly relationship with pornography, and a lack of good role models and mentors for all things puberty until I reached my 20's.  Once I got to those 20's, I rubbed against many new personalities I'd never seen before.  Girly girls, punk girls, solid girls, solid guys, chauvinistic guys, wimpy guys, and on and on.  In the mix of these different lifestyles, my own personality and character were growing through that environment.  Growing and learning.

Last night, I found Role Reboot, a website that deals with a redefining of gender roles for our times.  The site isn't run by people who share my worldview, and there's a lot that I do not agree with, but as we rub against different ideas, we better form our own.  When I was first exploring the site, I was like a kid in a candy store.  I eat this stuff up.

Here are some of my favorites.

Why You Shouldn't Ignore Me When I Ask To Split The Check

Killer Advertising
Six Key Ways To Create A Great Parenting Partnership

Ten Things Every Man Should Know Or Do By 30

Another interesting piece I've found through Miss Representation is Sexy Baby, "a documentary about sexiness and the cyber age."  It goes into how the overwhelming influence of porn has completely shifted culture's ideas of what's sexy and beautiful.  In porn, sexiness and beauty are defined for men and for women.  As porn becomes more and more of the norm and then as porn gets more and more extreme, the normal, real life sexuality isn't enough.  The girls who are trying to compete with porn are getting boob jobs and labiaplasty to look more like porn stars.

Just yikes.

I don't plan to see this film, but it does talk about important things that I care about very much, so I wanted to share.  

Just to add in case you think I'm getting all huffy and super high feminist (cuz really, I'm just a regular feminist), here's some humor about the girls who think they deserve everything in the world from Sharideth and her blog A Woman's Guide To Women: A Blog For Men:

50 Things Girls Want Guys To Know... And My Response To Them

Part One

Part Two

via Wikipedia by J. Howard Miller

My Fifth Graders and I Talked About Race.

In my fifth grade science class, we all sit close together around a few small rectangular tables.  Today, Lilly sat right across from me.  She and I had just finished a conversation when she said, "Teacher.  Your eyes are very pretty and big."  I accepted the compliment and was about to move on when Jun leaned over for a better look at my face.  "Yes, Teacher.  Very big eyes," he said in a poorly formed sentence, the kind he uses when he's relaxed and excited.  (He knows better.  I should have corrected him.)

They were all staring at me, and I felt egged on to make a further comment, to explain why my eyes are so large.
"Well, yes.  I guess it's because I'm... white."
I felt so awkward saying it.  I wanted to change the end of my sentence, but I knew that there was no getting out of it.  In contrast with my students' Asian eyes, my eyes do look larger, and I know that it's because I'm not Asian.
I looked up at them to gauge their reaction.  All I saw were blank stares.  I realized they probably had no idea about what I meant by "white."  I proceeded cautiously for the sake of explanation and language acquisition (seriously).

"White.  It's what we call... people whose ancestors are from Europe.  Because the skin is so light.  Like, we have Asian people from Asia, and black people, well they're not always black-black, but their skin is darker... their ancestors are usually from Africa.  And people with brown skin, maybe they came from South America..."

"Teacher, I want white skin."

It was Lilly again.  I was caught off guard.  I've known that many Asian cultures (Korea included) highly value fair skin, but I was not expecting my beautiful 10-year-old student to want to change her appearance like this.

"Lilly.  Why?"

"Because I like white.  Ha, I mean, Teacher, I like white skin."

Being the Save The Humans activist that I am, I plunged right ahead.  I told her how people in America value tanned skin to illustrate how beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  I told her how people will go to great lengths to achieve what they think is beautiful, when sometimes all they'll end up with is cancer.  I even told them how I, one of the fairest in the class, want to be more tan to show them how deeply the affects of the ideas of what is beautiful can run and how the idea are often poorly balanced with reality.  ("But Teacher!  Your skin is so white!")  I finished with telling them how America has people of many different skin colors and how it makes the nation more beautiful to have such a rainbow of colors.

Jun popped in again.  "Teacher, rainbow?  With blue, purple and green?"

"Okay, turn in your books to page 54, class!"

This is Lilly, one of the most intelligent, kind-hearted, and inquisitive young ladies I know.  Besides continuing to grow into the lovely and capable young woman she is, I hope she never changes.

My New Favorite Snack

Call me crazy, but I am all about seaweed these days.  I can't ever get enough!  When Alice, an exchange student from Korea, came to our house and brought gim with her, I was more than skeptical.  Little did I know, this stuff is life changing!

I'll have it on my rice any time and as much as I can get.  I was in a new grocery store today and saw it in little packages.  I bought about $1.50 worth to try it out on my own (in my home!), and ended up putting it in my dinner which I never would have thoughts as seaweed friendly before: pasta, chicken, and onions in a coconut milk, butter, and lemon sauce.  The combination was delicious.  After dinner, I ate a whole 'nother package straight.  Salty, crunchy, ocean-y, and unfortunately irresistible.  I'll be pumping in the water to try and offset this new rise in sodium intake for sure.

Would you ever try eat seaweed?  If I sent you some, would you try it?  Seriously, who wants some?

I have a Bicycle.

I don't know how long this beauty will be in my possession, but I'm pumped to have it for as long as I can.  I haven't done any research, but I hear there's some good biking trails in the city.  Time to get those thighs screaming!

I didn't have a bike lock for a while, so I kept the bike in my room instead of in the courtyard or the street.  I bought a lock today, but I like the vibe this unlikely decor has added, so it still may not be leaving for a while, at least not till the next time I go for a ride.

A List of the Happy Things I See When I Look at America

Last Sunday I said two hard good byes.  Both Conrad and Sim are planning on returning to Korea again soon, Sim only has a week left in the States, but it was still really hard to see them leave.  Even worse, I couldn't help but think a lot about what it will be like when it's my turn to leave the Peninsula.  Don't get me wrong, I'm really excited to be with the people I love who are there, but it's hard to think of much else calling me back to where home is supposed to be.

So!
To help me through that transition time, I'm going to go ahead and make a list of all the wonderful things America has to offer for when I get cold feet in a few months.

#1 Chick-fil-A

via LAWeekly by N Galuten

Not to sound silly, but, if you know what I mean, you know what I mean.  That delicious chicken, those fun waffle fries, and those winter milkshakes that are to die for!  I enjoy this food so much, I dressed up like a cow twice in one day at different locations to take advantage of a free food offer even though my conscience said I was cheating by doing it twice.  It's that good.

And, it will be good to see those cows again.

(Oh my gosh, you can order food online now!  It's offered at the closest restaurant to my house!)

#2 Dryers

via Wikipedia, uploaded by Rickharp

Having your clothes washed and wearable again all in one day sounds like the ultimate luxury.  Now with the summer heat rolling in and the unbearable humidity it brings, drying my clothes on a rack inside is becoming more of an inconvenience.  Yeah, I usually don't wash my clothes very often...

#3 Hulu and Pandora

via xda-developers and geek.com

Some of my most used sites don't extend to Koran IP addresses. Thankfully there are things like HotSpot Shield and Jango radio that make things better, but it will be nice to have these American sites available to me again.

#4 Good burgers

A screenshot from Cheese & Burger Society via zengarage

Beyond Chick-fil-A, the only other food I crave from America is this.  A good burger.  Maybe with some sweet potato fries.  That juiciness, that flavor, that texture, man.  Can't get anything like it in Korea.  Believe me, I've looked.

Honestly, I had a hard time thinking of anything after Chik-fil-A, and after these other two, my inspiration is dry.  So much for making a list of things I can't wait to get back to (people excluded).  Looks like I really do have everything I need here.

Could you help me out and think of things from home you couldn't live without?  I'd love to hear your ideas. And, if there are things you know I've left out, be sure to write it in the comments!

A 12 Day Break From Long Distance!

Three hours from now, I will be in the presence of my favorite person in the entire world!  My best friend/boyfriend arrives from America to visit with me for 12 days!  The last time I saw him was December 31, and I could not be more excited get to be with him again in real time!

Believe it or not, I'm going gently on the exclamation points.

On the day before he leaves, we will have been in a long distance relationship for a full year.  Gosh, that's a long time.  Give me just a moment to congratulate Caleb and I, because that's quite an achievement.  And, after mid-May, we'll still have 7 months before we're back in the same tri-county area.  Here's to perseverance and to thriving in the midst of it.

When people first learn that I have a boyfriend back home, they often say things like, "wow, that must be hard," or "gosh, I'm sorry."  I'm getting better at accepting their concern while still telling them that I wouldn't have it any other way.  Ha, except for having him here.  But really, it's been bloody hard at time, but, once I claimed that this was what I want and this was who I want, there was nothing that could deter me from pushing through everything to get to the other side.  Frankly, I wouldn't be here if it weren't for Caleb.  There's no one else I'd rather do this with.  His support has been invaluable.  His constant engagement in my life, his encouragement of my interests, and his continual outpouring of love and friendship have helped me grow into a fuller version of myself.  He's allowed me to become the adventurer I've always wanted to be, and I am eternally grateful.

Heh.  Maybe I can pay the guy back by the marrying him.

(Sorry, had to say it.)

As anyone who's been in my situation knows, it's not all peaches and cream.  I've sought some serious dating coaching from good friends here.  I've had plenty of opportunities to mess up, to rebuild, and to eat my pride.  Sacrifice is becoming a way of life, and I'm finally finding just how hard love can be.  I've still got miles and miles to go, but here are some of the lessons I've learned on communication.

Don't make a big deal out of anything that isn't a big deal.

Rethink yourself before going bonkers over some small detail he texted you.
They say that for any relationship, communication is key.  This is the breakdown of Caleb's and my communication.

Made with Create A Graph

With the majority of our conversations happening in a medium that excludes the helpful cues of nonverbal communication, we've got a lot of clarifying we need to do nearly every time we talk.  There's also a lot of room for miscommunication and misinterpretation.  Keeping this in mind has helped me not sweat the small stuff.  A lot of our conflicts have stemmed from misreading what the other said.  Saying, "This is what I think you mean, am I correct?" has saved us a lot.

Save the hard conversations for Skype.

When things get deep, it's been best for Caleb and I to have each other face to face for support and encouragement.  You can say a lot when you're typing, but facial expressions and vocal inflection say more.  Also, when I'm angry or frustrated, it's a whole lot easier to not lash out when I'm looking at the person I'm angry with.  It's helpful to remember he's a person with a soul and feelings and not just a screen.

#1 Speak your mind.

Hopefully we've learned by now that the other isn't a mind reader, but now that Caleb and I are long distance it's never been more important to get everything out when he asks, "Is something wrong?"  If it's true that he can't tell what I'm feeling when we're together, it's even more true when there's miles and internet connection problems between us.  If something's bothering me, there is absolutely no way he'll know unless I tell him.

#2 Reread your texts before you send them. 

Piggy backing on my last point, there's nothing Caleb will know about my experience here beyond what I tell him.  If I mention only all the times I went to the dangerous part of town, or I mention only my guy friends by name and talk about them a ton, then that's all that Caleb's going to know.  I'm not advising deception, but I am advising building a filter for how you put things.  Those texts are the only window he has.  Make sure the window's a good one that won't give occasion for misinterpretation or worry.

#3 Remember that conflict would be different if you were together.

If you're a growing couple, then you'll be growing all your life, but I can't help but believe that things will be easier when we're together.  Granted, it'll also be much easier to yell at each other when we don't have to limit our speaking conversations to Skype alone, but I also know that we'll be able to hold each other when it matters most.  You know those times when all you want is to hear, "Darling, I'm sorry, I love you, and I'm here," and then get the biggest hug you could ever want?  You'll actually be able to have that.  Don't be discouraged by where you are now.  Know that you're working super hard on your communication (a vital tool!) and that this if you get to the other side of this make-it-or-break-it time, you've already got a lot going for you.

#4 Remember that long distance isn't forever.
Caleb and I want to get married some day.  Nothing's set in stone, but that's the direction we're heading.  If anything, we'll definitely get to hang out again once I'm in the States.  Having that to look forward to gives me something to press on toward.  I know that I'm working for something, something that's worth every ounce of frustration.  As if I weren't happy where I am now (and I'm completely in love and enthralled now), there are better times ahead.  How encouraging is that?

That's what I think.  I love where I am, I'm looking forward to where I'm going, and I'm doing my best on my part to make this season as painless and beautiful as possible.

Do you agree?  Are there any tips I left out?  I'd love to hear what you think in the comments!

How Living in Korea Has Changed My Views and Practice of Modesty

I grew up in a very conservative Christian family and in a very conservative Christian school.  We were required to wear uniform skirts that came no higher than 2 inches above the knee, polo or oxford shirts that didn't show too much of our form, and, on special days, khaki pants that hid our curves.  My college was also conservative in its permissive attire.  All top straps needed to be 2 fingers wide and we couldn't shorts that had less than a 4" inseam.  Even after I had no dress code to follow, I felt vulnerable and exposed when I wore shorts and spaghetti straps.

Then I moved to Seoul.

My first month had me gaping at the girls' fashion choices.  Leg, leg, and more leg.  And leggy legs at that!  You'll have to look hard and long to find cleavage in this city (not that the girls here don't have boobs, but they just cover them completely), but high thighs and the occasional butt cheek are the norm, especially in the warmer months.

This is NO exaggeration.  In fact, I'd say reality is more extreme.
via ROKetship

The weird part is, I've started to get in on this. I bought the shortest skirt I'd ever owned last October.  I've only ever worn it with tights, but today I wore a similar skirt (one inch longer and no pleats) to school without leggings.  Dun dun dun!  I've worn tunics as dresses, and I recently purchased two more pairs of short-shorts.  What gives?

I'll tell you what gives. 

It's incredibly comfortable to have your legs free to breathe.

I immediately feel 10 times sexier in a skirt or shorts.

I feel more like I'm seizing the day. (Maybe I'm getting throwbacks to when the tree-climbing childhood adventure Lindsay lived in shorts.)

But, with the sexiness comes insecurity and uncertainty.
A few weeks ago, I was with some of my friends practicing our hip hop choreography.  It was getting hot, so I changed into the shorts I'd just bought.  Coming out of my changing room, though, I felt washed over with hesitation.  I called for my brothers and asked them if my shorts were too short, knowing that they'd tell me straight.  While they weren't booty shorts, these were the shortest things I'd worn in ages, but they said they were totally fine (and that I was being adorable).

Well, I've been given the Christian brother thumbs up, so I reckon I'm okay.

Even so, it all comes down to what I'm comfortable with.  My best friend/boyfriend has told me that he's never seen me come close to being risque and that I should feel free wear what I want.  Well, what I want is to feel covered.  What I want is to not have this constant worry that I'm showing too much skin.  I know that people are responsible for their own wandering eyes, but I cannot shake the feeling of responsibility for how I clothe my body.

In the mix of all this, I've been developing a new kind of relationship with my body, its curves, and its movement through hip hop class.  My brothers in there have been helping me deal with the fact that I've "got ass" by adding in their good natured and well timed humor.  (I swear it's not inappropriate.)  Honestly, without my friends' jokes and encouragements, I wouldn't be on this healthy journey I'm on now.  With their help, I'm learning that the shape of my body isn't dirty.  Just because it's womanly and beautiful does not mean that it is wrong.  The female figure is not only for the pornography cameras!  Furthermore, it's okay and good to have a female figure.  It was designed to be admired and it is inherently lovely!  It is not inappropriate, and it is not dirty.  Who knew!
(Bring on the celebratory body rolls!)

So, as I search for the truth and figure out my own stance, I'm very thankful to have the sandbox of Seoul to experiment in.  I have good brothers and sisters who love me and who love the Lord who are willing and eager to guide me in the right direction.  I'm living in a culture of modesty that is completely different from the one I grew up in which is letting me start fresh with my own ideas.  And, if I mess up I'll either be accepted into the too-short skirt group or brushed off as a foreigner who doesn't know what she's doing.  I can't do much wrong as long as I'm keeping my priorities in line (Jesus' glory first!) and then following them with my actions.  How cool is that?