I'm fascinated with the ideas of gender roles.
I think it would take a long time to explain everything that goes into why, but an overview would include a long held prejudice against girls, a long and ugly relationship with pornography, and a lack of good role models and mentors for all things puberty until I reached my 20's. Once I got to those 20's, I rubbed against many new personalities I'd never seen before. Girly girls, punk girls, solid girls, solid guys, chauvinistic guys, wimpy guys, and on and on. In the mix of these different lifestyles, my own personality and character were growing through that environment. Growing and learning.
Last night, I found Role Reboot, a website that deals with a redefining of gender roles for our times. The site isn't run by people who share my worldview, and there's a lot that I do not agree with, but as we rub against different ideas, we better form our own. When I was first exploring the site, I was like a kid in a candy store. I eat this stuff up.
Here are some of my favorites.
Another interesting piece I've found through Miss Representation is Sexy Baby, "a documentary about sexiness and the cyber age." It goes into how the overwhelming influence of porn has completely shifted culture's ideas of what's sexy and beautiful. In porn, sexiness and beauty are defined for men and for women. As porn becomes more and more of the norm and then as porn gets more and more extreme, the normal, real life sexuality isn't enough. The girls who are trying to compete with porn are getting boob jobs and labiaplasty to look more like porn stars.
Just yikes.
I don't plan to see this film, but it does talk about important things that I care about very much, so I wanted to share.
Just to add in case you think I'm getting all huffy and super high feminist (cuz really, I'm just a regular feminist), here's some humor about the girls who think they deserve everything in the world from Sharideth and her blog A Woman's Guide To Women: A Blog For Men:
50 Things Girls Want Guys To Know... And My Response To Them
 |
| via Wikipedia by J. Howard Miller |
Lindsay, I read the Good Woman Project and totally remember that post from however many months ago. If I had only clicked on the link to your blog I a) would have realized I know the writer of the piece and b) would have discovered your blog a lot earlier :) (which I love by the way). All that to say, amazing post, amazing honesty, beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThey are something I've wondered a lot about too. I've never really felt like I fit very well into the traditional American masculine role. I mean, I'm attracted to women, but whenever I hear people talk about "gender communication styles" or "the way men and women think differently" I usually end up relating more to the feminine side, which is weird.
ReplyDeleteEarlynovemberlove,
ReplyDeleteThanks, sweetheart. That means a lot.
Andrew,
I grew up a tomboy, I'm major competitive, and I am good at taking the lead. I, too, have felt like I relate to the other side a lot. It's been the source of a lot of confusion, hurt, and frustration. And I'm not through with it yet. Here's to the complex gift of having received qualities from both of the gender vials. (I feel compelled to assume it's a gift.)