6 of my most embarrassing confessions

photo by leafar

Partly for fun and partly for a strange kind of transparency, I've been wanting to share a collection of personal confessions for a while.  Back in 2014, I saw Rubyellen's short confessions post on My Cakies, and I've been holding onto the idea for myself for almost two years now.  To quote Rubyellen, "We all put our best foot forward on the internets, so here’s some silly things about me, and some not so proud moments/choices that I have learned from or still trying to learn."

And so, here we go!  The most embarrassing things about me that I can bring myself to say on the internet.

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When I was young, very young, I told people I was half dog.  I loved dogs a lot, and I yawned like a dog, so I guess in my little mind, that's all it took to be half dog?  (Yes, this means I probably would have identified myself as dog-kin...)

Every year in college, I would dress up like a ninja on December 5th for Day of the Ninja (it's a thing).  I was one of those freshmen, but I was one of those freshmen all four years.  No regrets, though!  I'm glad I was able to let go of my inhibitions during those years!

One of my most embarrassing moments were when Caleb told me, "Lindsay, you smell so much like garlic, I don't want to kiss you."  I had eaten about 10 cloves the night before, and the garlic smell was just pouring out of my mouth and my skin.  It was intense, and I still occasionally get teased for it.

One of my top two favorite tv shows of all time is a cartoon, and I will recommend it to everyone until the day I die.  Seriously, if you haven't already, you need to see Avatar: The Last Airbender.  Heck, even if you have seen it, you're probably due for another run through.

I have a pathetic level of physical endurance, and I know my decisions to not exercise over and over again are seriously holding my body back.  Whenever I try to start anything rigorous, my breathing gets heavy within two minutes or less.  I could be so much healthier and stronger if I would just exercise a few times a week!

I chew and pick at my cuticles.  I am so embarrassed by this, and even though it affects me and my nail pictures, I haven't been able to stop.  It's so awful (and unhealthy!), I've tried using makeup and photo editing to make my gnawed cuticles look better for an Instagram before.

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I admit that my list above is more of a confessions lite.  The list is funny and ridiculous (to me, at least), and it's a small window into my many flaws.  I'm not one to find freedom in the fact that nobody's perfect, but I do take heart in remembering that I am not yet my final form.  I have these sillier imperfections and my deeper and darker secrets, but I am growing.  I can already see how I've grown, in fact.  I used to chew both my cuticles and my nails, and now I'm just chewing my cuticles, and I think I do it less and less as time goes on!

I've been a perfectionist for as long as I can remember, and I always know when there's room to grow and better myself.  Right now, though, I'm going to celebrate how much I've already grown, just for a breath.  I like it.

On tenderness

In light of last week's post about finding where our personal emotional and mental boundaries need to be, I wanted to share this quote from I've been saving it since I saw it on HelloGiggles years ago.  These words by Amelia Olsen speak from the female perspective, but knowing when to say yes and to say no is something everyone needs.  Don't forget that.

“Being tender and open is beautiful. As a woman, I feel continually shhh’ed. Too sensitive. Too mushy. Too wishy washy. Blah Blah Blah. Don’t let someone steal your tenderness. Don’t allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart. Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things. Whether it’s a song, a stranger, a mountain, a tea kettle, an article, a sentence, a footstep, feel it all – look around you. All of this is for you. Take it and have gratitude. Give it and feel love.“ Amelia Olson via HelloGiggles

Happy Monday, and have a beautiful week.

Recommended with "Awake"

Happy Easter weekend!  Caleb and I just got back from helping friends move, and now I'm taking a short break from cooking David Chang's ramen 2.0 recipe from 2010 to get this post published!  What are you up to?

I want to share with you one of my best go-to songs.  I heard "Awake" by Tycho play just briefly between radio segments on NPR one morning and looked it up when I got into work because I loved the little bit that I'd heard.  

"Awake" is the song I go to when I need to calm down, when I need to get work done, or when I want a gentle morning.  It has an energy to it, but it's a steady energy, a peaceful one.  When I was in the middle of my last big event I was planning for work, on the very stressful Day Of, I took five minutes to sit by myself on a couch with this song playing in my headphones.  "Awake" is my reset song.  It's interesting looking back over the last year or so and seeing how much it's helped me through.  I hope it helps you, too!  Enjoy!

And now, recommended with "Awake," here are some links for your Saturday and Sunday!

I'm so excited for the warmer weather for many reasons, and I've just found another reason to add to the list.  Ripenear.me is a site built to help crowdsource and find local produce!  Brilliant!

Both I and my husband work in the tech field (never thought I'd say that about myself!), and I've been learning more and more over the years as to just how impactful technology and code are to the world.  Here's a short video explaining a bit about why programming is important, why it's everywhere, and why tech companies have silly things like scooters.

How to overcome worry and be a friendlier person and How we sabotage our own happiness  (#4 and 5 are high on my Learn How To Do List.)

In the same vein, What to do when you feel like sh*t.

What an awesome Disney Pixar short.

I've watched this short happy video 5 times in a row.  Make that 15 times in a row.

I just discovered this insane Atlanta mansion this week.  Presidential security, a huge maze garden, indoor theater and a closet as big as my bedroom!  I can't believe this is just 15 minutes up the road from me!  I am so curious about who it was built for!

Instagram Husbands.

Love this.  The warning labels that should come with Myers-Briggs personality results should come with.  I'm an INFJ, and Caleb is an INTJ, and the warnings are pretty spot on.

Where to shop besides IKEA.  I've been a fan of H&M and Urban Outfitters' home departments for a long time, but I had no idea about Muji!

What are you up to this weekend?

Why I won't be watching The Walking Dead anymore

via

Last summer, I finally watched my first episode of The Walking Dead.  I'd been curious about it for a long time, because the show has been shot all around the Georgia and Atlanta I know.  I'd been hesitant to check it out, though, because frankly, I'm afraid of zombies.  Silly and ridiculous, yes, but ever since nightmares from watching I Am Legend, I try to stay away.

I watched three episodes that first day.  I' was completely pulled into the stories of the characters, and it was really cool seeing the streets I drive on TV.  After turning off the screen, I couldn't stop thinking about the show, and I remember looking things up on IMDB and Wikipedia very late that night.  Unfortunately, I also couldn't stomach the violence and gore.  My friend Chris says it all looks hokey and fake to him, but I can't get past the blood and guts and screams.  It just felt real, and even though most of the killing is done to the undead, it also felt wrong, as if this wasn't how things are supposed to be.

Watching the show unsettled me in a way that scraped against my spirit.  I've been told before that I'm very tenderhearted, and I think it's true.  Compassion runs deep in who I am, and while it doesn't always express itself when I'm sitting in traffic, it is something that makes it difficult for me to watch violence.  I just can't do it.

After those first three episodes, I had to have a serious talk with myself.  I'd realized very quickly that watching The Walking Dead was bad for me, and not just because of the new nightmares that lasted for weeks.  Unfortunately, I had already latched onto the plot and characters, and I couldn't keep myself from wanting to know the rest of their story, but I also just couldn't keep watching the show.  I had to decide to separate myself from the show and abstain, and it wasn't easy.  I've since caught up on all the episode synopses online, and I still find myself wanting to watch it again, but I can't.  I know it's not good for me, and it's my job to protect myself, even the invisible and hard-to-understand parts of myself.

Most people aren't like me in this way, but I do want to encourage you to get to know yourself and your limits and then to set boundaries to empower yourself to have the very best life and environment you can.  Limits are not a negative thing, and learning to protect them is a valuable skill.  Other area where you could do this might include staying away from that person who brings out the worst in you or only agreeing to two outings per week.  Make protecting yourself a priority, even if it makes you look strange.  Remember that you are your own responsibility, and it's a sign of strength and courage to stand up for yourself when you need to.  Be brave, and be happy.

Recommended with Caribbean Salad

I had the usual good intentions of publishing this on Friday, but I ended up having a rough emotional day, and then to distract myself, I've fallen down the delightful hole of Ancestry.com!  I favor my father's side, because I still love my maiden name so much, but there's a lot more work that's been done on my mother's side.  I'm lucky to have an uncle who's done so much research!  Turns out I'm descended from kings, knights, witches, crusaders, and saints, all on my mom's side.  I hit a veign of gold when I found someone in my ancestry who matched up with a Wikipedia article.  Old time Western European aristocracy did a great job of tracking their lineage.  So, that's what my entire weekend's being spent on!

I do want to give you a recipe, though, the promised side salad I usually make with jerk chicken.  My mom made this for us a lot in Puerto Rico, and it was one of the few dishes she made that used cilantro.  Now, whenever I have cilantro, it takes me back to my childhood in Puerto Rico.

This dish is perfect for summertime, and it's very versatile.  Just deduct whatever ingredient you don't like.  I usually make two versions at home: one without jalapeños for me and one without beans for Caleb.  The salad tastes best when all the flavors are allowed to marry.  I like it best after about a day.

Caribbean Salad

(I'm not sure what else to call it.)

• 1 red bell pepper, diced
• 1 green bell pepper, diced
• 1 japaeño pepper, diced small
• 3 green onions, chopped
• 10 oz. frozen corn, thawed
• 1 can black beans, drained
• 2 tbs cilantro, chopped (though I usually put in tons)
• 3 tbs fresh lime juice (though I've used lemon, and it's fine)
• 2 tbs olive oil
• 1/8 tsp salt

Just mix everything together, and you're done!  This recipe makes enough for probably at least 8 servings.  It makes a lot.

And links for the second half of your weekend!

I often work from home, which means Mako gets to play intern, but I would love to work at a place like this super dog friendly office.

I've always been interested in mythology and old superstitions.  I just learned about the Icelandic vegvísir symbol, which is supposed to keep travelers safe in dangerous weather.  I think it's fascinating to learn the meanings of ancient runes!  I really wish I could know the full story behind the butterknot, though, which was used "to ensure butter was procured through non-magical means."

My most recent bra purchases came from AdoreMe.  I find their sets flirty and within my usual price range.  But!  This list of 4 upcoming lingerie lines makes me curious about branching out.  This one, though, Edge O' Beyond, is crazy luxurious.  I signed up for their newsletter last year, but I know I'll probably never own any of their fancy lacy things.

This made me laugh.  If cities were your boyfriend.

Did you see Marvel's new contest for girls changing the world with science?

Check out how these iconic logos have changed since their creation.  Fascinating.

My friend Stephanie Whitacre sharing another bit of wisdom about encouraging your future self.

I don't know what it is, but I seem to have a hard time with shoes.  In the summer, I'm almost always in my clunky but comfy Chaco sandals, and all the other girls seem to look much cuter in their booties and espadrilles and even super new sneakers.  I think I've found a way to break into the cute shoes game, though, with these cross-strap flats.  And for under $30, too!

It's all advice you've heard before, but maybe you forget like I do.  How to have a better morning.

New things for spring

I have been mooning over the cherry blossoms in the courtyard and cozying up in the sun for a few minutes almost every day this week.  I am completely in love with the spring weather Atlanta has been enjoying!  We're supposed to have one more cold snap this weekend, but then it's going to be easy breezy springtime till next fall!

Not that I have the cash to go out and buy new decor pieces each season, but I wanted to share a few things I wish I could have around to complement the beautiful weather.

Pressed maidenhair fern

Tiny marimo ball ecosphere

Bouquet of real flowers

Pressed flower notecards

Geometric glass terrarium

Framed butterflies

To be honest, I'd love to have these things in my home 24/7, not just during springtime.  What about you?  What kinds of things feel like spring to you? 

Recommended with Crockpot Jerk Chicken

This chicken, y'all, is where it's at.  I don't know how else to introduce this dish.  Bright, juicy, flavorful, and healthy, I want to eat this chicken every week.  It's also crazy easy to make.  No, really.  I take the time to skin my chicken pieces (or Caleb sometimes volunteers for the job), but besides that, the recipe is as difficult as measuring spices and rubbing them on raw chicken.  That's pretty much all you have to do besides turn on the crockpot.  It is important to make sure you don't overcook the chicken because the dryness will overwhelm the dish, but as long as you keep that in check and follow the ratios of the recipe, you can't go wrong.

I decided to try out making jerk chicken when I was in a culinary lull.  This addition to our menu brought a brightness among our winter usuals.  When paired with the bean and pepper salad and platanos, it felt like we were having a Caribbean feast!  I use the recipe as written by Stephanie on A Year of Slow Cooking.  The only thing I change is that I use only dark meat pieces instead of a whole chicken.  I find dark meat to be tastier and less prone to dryness, so I usually opt for dark meat when it's an option.

I'll be sharing the recipe for platanos and my mom's recipe for the bean and pepper salad in the next couple weeks, so stay tuned and enjoy!

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Recommended with the tastiest and easiest crockpot jerk chicken...

A powerful quote:

"Your value does not decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth."

- Unknown

A new way to make a stay-put bun

International Women's Day was this past week (yay women!).  As we celebrate how far women have come in many parts of the world, I encourage you to take look through this post about the importance of separating Girl Power from Boy Hate.

16 tips for much better small talk.  I've used one of these lines already, and I got into a delightful conversation that went nowhere near what we do for work.

Which fast food restaurant serves the best milkshake?  The definitive research is in, and I'm not the least bit surprised.

This dog + elephant friendship

This post about having it all as a woman is... legit.  I've read lots of opinions about this topic and all the little branches that come from this topic, and I think this author nails it on the head.

Unroll is an email life saver!  It allowed me to automatically unsubscribe from 24 newsletters at once, and my email is so much cleaner now!  On the other hand, I also feel a lot less popular because I'm getting about 30% fewer emails now, ha!

This post shares some sensibility and challenges around what and why we should post on social media.  I've talked with a few different friends about this very topic, and authenticity seems to be a very important thing that we want from ourselves and our friends, but I think that it's not always something I require from everyone I follow on social media.  Most of the accounts I follow on Instagram, I follow because they post pretty pictures.  If pictures of my friends pop up, too, that's great, and I'd expect them to share their highlight reel more than their bloopers, but I expect the artists and professionals I follow to post a higher curated quality.  What do you think?

I've been working on my winged eyeliner, and it's pretty much going like this.  Can someone teach me how to do this right?

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The Having It All article, Unroll, and the eyeliner video were found via Yes and Yes guest post by Andrea Isabelle Lucas, which I also recommend checking for a few more link goodies.

Japanese Floral Arranging: Ikebana

While roaming the blogosphere last month, I came across the Japanese art of Ikebana on FTD.  It's a very strict and lovely form of flower arranging, and the pieces look different from anything I've seen before.  Ikebana literally translates to "giving life to flowers" or "arranging flowers", but artists use more natural pieces than just flowers to bring in movement, lines, and shape to the piece.  Arrangements often include branches to add height and leaves to add lines among the flowers.  The results are unique, emotive, and stunning creations.

photo by Manuel via Flickr

Recommended with Chicken Marsala

I'm running a day late with this post, and I don't even have any good pictures to put with it, either!  I can 100% vouch for this recipe, though.  I had a failed attempt making chicken marsala our first year of marriage that scared me away from trying again for a long time.  Late last summer, I decided to give it one more go, and I'm glad I came across Tyler Florence's recipe for chicken marsala instead of whatever other recipe I'd tried before. 

This dish is very, very simple, and it always turns out great for me.  It does end up taking more time than I think it should, but I think that comes down to all the different steps.  Cut the mushrooms, cut and pound the chicken, dredge the chicken in flour, cook the chicken, cook the mushrooms, simmer the sauce.  Each step doesn't take long in itself, so it doesn't feel like it takes a long time to make, but when the clock shows it's forty minutes later by the time I'm finished, it makes me appreciate the tasty meal all the more.  

I've only used the recommended prosciutto once; the recipe is totally fine without it and without the parsley garnish, too.  I've also never used the recommended type of mushrooms.  (Where does one even find cremini mushrooms?)  I like to serve the chicken marsala over angel hair pasta with something vegetable-y on the side.  Find the recipe and a video here!

And now some links to rove through this weekend!  Enjoy!

I was sent a fascinating podcast about a creepy part of the K-pop industry, which I'd recommend checking out, but I also want to tell you about the accompanying K-pop playlist.  It's really good!

I had blood work done this week as part of an annual physical, and it turns out I'm deficient in vitamin D!  I did some brief research, and there are some pretty scary symptoms from vitamin D deficiency (who knew?), but thankfully I like a lot of things on this list of foods high vitamin D.  Just wanted to pass on the info!  Get your sunshine, friends!  Let's ward off schizophrenia together!

I've developed a small obsession for colormelt hair in vibrant, bold colors.  Warm, cool, and very cool.  I just love it! 

You need to watch these parrots show you how to dance to club music.  (The deep house and dubstep parrots are my favorites.)

Check out these beautiful photos Commander Scott Kelly took while in space.  I love the one of the Bahamas and the lake in Tibet.

The Downton Abbey finale is this Sunday!  Will you be watching for these last minutes hopes for the characters of Downton?  I'm so sad for it to be over, and I think my only consolations are the new seasons of House of Cards and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.  They're both the complete opposites of Downton, but Caleb and I have been big fans.

Relevant for many of us city living folks

How is it that soft buns and relaxed, comfortable clothing make girls look so tied together?  Exhibit B just to prove my point.

Did you see my post from Wednesday about indoor plants?  This post about trees you can grow indoors came at the perfect time.  I want all of them.

Have a great weekend!

My indoor garden

These are all my plants as of February 2016!

One not-so-secret thing about me is I love plants.  I love having plants around me, everywhere, and besides our master bathroom (which has no window, by the way), I've put plants in every other room of our apartment.  In my world, every room needs a plant.  I currently have 19 different plants living at home with me, and I have one at the office, too.  the thing is, though...

Funny story: when Caleb and I first got married, I didn't bring any plants with my into our new home.  Then I brought some of my old plants from my parents' house to work to spruce up my office.  Then I moved offices and I had to bring those home.  Then my parents moved and had to get rid of all their plants.  Caleb said I could bring home 4, and I think I brought home 6.  "Don't worry, some of them are going to my office!"  It was a lie.  Seven plants at home turned into 12 when I made cuttings and dunked them in water.  How was I to know they would sprout roots and then be added to the collection?  Just kidding, I knew.

Okay, basically this is a story of how one wife went completely against her husband's wishes, but now that he has his own plant (a bonsai), it's all good.

Anyway, one thing I'm always excited to see more of is plant storage and display ideas.  I like to think that if I could keep more of my plants together in one place, then I could maybe have more plants because Caleb wouldn't notice how many were on the display!  IKEA has has some okay ideas in the past, but I've found a sneak peek of some new options they're bringing this month.

via Poppytalk

I like how the ladder and planter holder are #1 natural wood and #2 not flashy or noticeable.  They let the plants take the center stage, as it should be.  Here's another preview of IKEA plant things coming in March!  Gotta love that jungle.

By the way, I'm trying my hand at succulents for the first time this year.  My mother-in-law got me a lovely terrarium for Christmas, and the plants didn't make it past mid-January.  I decided to try a second time with succulents in the terrarium, but I'm not sure if that was such a good idea, either.  I already have a plan C in mind, but in the meantime, I'm super bummed out that one of my succulents is showing signs of stress.  Lesson learned: Research the plants before you bring them home!

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What are your thoughts on plants and on indoor plants?  Do you have a green thumb, a black thumb, a jungle?  My mom always had tons and tons in our kitchen dining room, so to me, it feels like home, but I'd love to hear what you think!